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May 26, 2009


Quick Question

Today's episode: Terminator Salvation director McG

Okay, McG, I'll give you that maybe Terminator is a tough franchise to revive because only one of the previous three films was really any good. I'll give you that there was apparently some sort of difficulty with your testy star Christian Bale. I'll even give you that, I don't know, it's hard out there for a pimp named McG.

But, quick question, what was that? Was that even a movie? It was like video game made by a very ambitious porno director looking to go legit. Every scene of stilted dialogue is just filler until the big dark action money shots of exploding Terminators. Even Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle was better than this pile of dirt, grime, and incredibly bad acting. At least that movie was funny bad, Terminator Salvation is depressing bad. Ten minutes into this muddled muck, I spaced out to pleasant recollections of the glossy, upbeat Star Trek universe currently playing in the adjoining auditorium. Yes, even the Tyler Perry part is better than this.

But seriously, McG, quick question: This movie takes place in a post-Judgment Day world in which children are actually get excited over eating raw carrots because any food at all is an amazing gift, but for some reason when you need to do a heart transplant in the middle of this radioactive desert, it's no biggie at all?  Really? Anti-rejection drugs easier to obtain than food? I've seen episodes of Gossip Girl that made more sense.

Get back to me when you get a chance, McG. Looking forward to it.