Ah Thanksgiving. All of the best foods on one table for one glorious meal. But what does your favorite say about you?
Gravy: You are fat
Turkey: You used to be fat
Mashed Potatoes: You are fat and unoriginal 
Canned Cranberry Sauce: Your fat does not discriminate 
Stuffing: You have good taste in what makes you fat
Apple Pie: You justify getting fat because there's fruit in it
Pecan Pie: Your fat has no shame
Pumpkin Pie: You have trouble letting go of Halloween and also your plate (what with the being fat and all)
Sweet Potato Marshmallow Casserole: You love life which is why you're a fat person
Turducken: You love fisting…fat people. Because you are one. 
Tofurkey: You're in college and visiting home and you condescend to those who are fat
Broccoli: You are fat and a liar because these were soaked in butter
Rolls: Ugh, fat and boring
Yams: You use outdated jargon reminiscent of earlier times, one where being fat (which you are) was a sign of wealth and status
Decorative Corn: You may not be fat, but you should not be left alone, you are a crazy person