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May 16, 2012

Niki McElroy, Author of A Black Girls Guide to Dating White Men, discribes the different types of male 'tools' and tells women to throw away their collection.


After the great response from women in agreement on my last blog about The Woodworkers, ex’s that show up out of the woodworks at the wrong times of your life and why, it got me to thinking about the tools you may meet while out on your dating escapades. A tool is an idiom many people use to describe someone used to carry out the designs of another; a dupe. Many times they are carrying out what they think society determines to be cool in what they wear, where they work and in how they treat women.

After spending the many years researching for my book I have met some fabulous men, as well as many tools. The key is to spot them for what they are before they have a chance to embed themselves into your toolbox. Let me introduce them to you. Keep in mind: Some tools can and will transform into other types of tools over different stages of their lives. Be Aware!


The Hammer:


The Hammer is the guy that spends majority of the time trying to pound every woman that he sees. He thinks the higher number of girls that he has nailed, will make him cool. As you know, the hammer is the most common tool found in the average home… and the average woman. You find him at clubs buying the drinks, in the workplace offering raises and in hollywood cleaning off his casting couch. If he approaches too hard with promises of a perfect life, the moon and the stars remember, as good as it sounds, after he “hits it” those dreams will be shattered.




The Screwdriver:


The Screwdriver is the guy that calls so much, you realize that he’s a bit screwy! His steady persistence starts out as a flattering ego booster and quickly turns more into an annoying form of stalker-esk behavior. When you find that it’s been a mere 30 minutes and he’s already inquiring on why you haven’t called him back, throw him out! Remember, screwdrivers are easily replaced with the multi purpose butter knife which is simple and easy to use.




The Level:


When first meeting The Level you think he’s really into the idea of starting a relationship and his bubble is steady center between the two markings showing that he’s balanced. Then as things start getting serious, he gets nervous and that bubble that was once centered is now seen at the other end of the tool. You try to steady him out with confirmations and support but before you know it, you see that bubble bouncing back and forth. Before you know it, your arm gets tired of trying to straighten him out. This guy isn’t so bad, but I suggest looking for the Lazer Level, he’s quicker to balance and saves you an arm ache.




The Monkey Wrench:


Have you ever dated a guy that has wanted you to carry them around through life? They are latching onto your business deals, asking you to guide their life and eating all of your food while they are at it. These are The Monkey Wrenches. Not only are they needy like little household monkeys, these Ceaser wanna be’s ruin your future by throwing a wrench into your life. Since Monkey Wrenches are used for the car, get them out asap before they drive you bananas!




The Measuring Tape:

We have all been impressed once or twice in our lives by The Measuring Tape. The guy that measures so well in that certain area that you deal with more crap than you would with any other tool. This guy has a way of making you forget why you were upset with him and the standards that you once had for yourself. Every time you try to put him back where you found him, you end up clipping him to your hip instead. You can’t get enough. Although it may seem that nobody will ever measure up in that area, your life’s goals and expectations for yourself should. Put it away, because The Measuring Tape just may cut you. STEP AWAY FROM THE MEASURING TAPE!


Now once you recognize that these types of men have no place in your life, it will leave space available for the good men that you’ve been looking past due to your addiction of collecting tools. The only thing that these guys are good for is building nightmares. As a woman, you have no choice but to go through the toolbox, one by one until you find what you are looking for. Which will inevitably and hopefully lead to an empty toolbox meaning that you are centered, complete and happy with yourself , leaving you free to choose what you want in your life instead of having to continue through the succession of tools.