1. Right now.
You’re reading this on a computer, tablet, or smartphone. Therefore, you are not dancing, and you are not a hotdog.
2. That time you swiped your card when you were supposed to insert the chip.
We’ve all been there, right? WRONG. Dancing hotdog hasn’t.
3. When you started your laundry only to realize you’re out of quarters.
UGH. Nothing worse than that awkward walk over to CVS to beg the cashier for change because your clothes are wet and the bank is closed… unless, of course, you’re a dancing hotdog. Then all you have to worry about is dancing and being a hotdog.
4. That time you missed a belt loop.
Not the worst thing to have happen to you, but it is definitely an inconvenience. Do you fix it right away? I usually just ignore it until I go to the restroom and then take care of it. Oh, by the way,the dancing hotdog doesn’t wear a belt, so you were never him when this happened to you.
5. When your parents broke the news to you that they’re getting a divorce.
OH WHAT’S THAT DANCING HOTDOG? YOU’VE NEVER HAD THAT HAPPEN TO YOU EITHER?? OF COURSE NOT! MUST BE PRETTY NICE BEING A CAREFREE HOTDOG WITH NO ONE TO ANSWER TO. EAT SHIT AND DIE DANCING HOTDOG!