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Published April 24, 2013

Truly inspiring to be able to come here. Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a belieber." – Justin Bieber, in the Anne Frank House guest book on his recent visit

 

Justin Bieber’s Notebook

Anne Frank House today – what to write in guest book?

Ideas:

 

I never realized how many fewer Holocaust victims there were than beliebers. Still, they might have had lots of great-granddaughters who would have been beliebers. That’s sad.

 

Girl, that one sign I read in your museum gave me some ideas to tell the writers, so maybe someday I’ll sing something inspired by you.  So, cool, maybe because of Justin Bieber you didn’t die totally in vain.

 

I didn’t recognize any of those “stars” whose pictures were up on your wall. If the Holocaust happened again, it would be better because somebody in hiding could put my picture on the wall. Then people touring the house even way in the future would say “Hey, Justin Bieber!”

 

I can so identify with you, Anne Frank. How many teenagers are known by millions of people? I bet if you had escaped you might have had a hard time with being so famous and all. Some people even do crazy things. I give totes good advice, I’d have helped you out.

 

If you hadn’t died in the Holocaust, I hope you’d have become a belieber. Wait, wouldn’t you still have died, like, a century ago? Well if I’d been a superstar in your country, you know, a Nazi German superstar, when you were young, I hope you’d have been a belieber.

 

Being here, it’s like seeing into the soul of another artist. I mean, you didn’t make any records or anything, but books are cool too.

 

If you had been a belieber, maybe you would have gotten caught even earlier than you did, singing my music too loud. Your parents would have been all, “Aaane!” and you would have been all, “My bad. It’s Justin Bieber!” Something to think about.

 

Friday night in Amsterdam, my people go, “Where to?” and I’m totally, “The Anne Frank House! That girl is, like, my alternate reality fan base. The beliebers in the Red Light District are just regular beliebers. And old.”

 

As I walked through your attic hiding place, I couldn’t help but think, “Anne Frank, Justin Bieber, beliebers, Justin Bieber, biebsters, me, moi, Anne whats-her-name, me.”

 

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