Jersey.....The other side of the River
When it comes to dating in NYC, New Jersey, as opposed to The Islands is a bit of a touchy subject. It's all about location, location, location. As in what part of Jersey do they reside. But, it also depends on what part of the city you reside in and in what proximity to the PATH train/NJ Transit you live. Like I said, location, location, location. There are so many different degrees to this equation, that when you meet someone and ask that very important question “where do you live”, you have to decipher, in almost nanosecond speed, the logistics of how do I get there. If you don't, are not familiar with this or have never encountered this before you are in for a real ride.
Again you are in your favorite bar/club in Manhattan, it's a Thursday evening, you're drinking socializing and flirting. Someone catches your attention you strike up a conversation and then WHAM! You find out they're from Jersey. Now depending on you family (almost everyone from NY has some family that migrated to New Jersey) you are a bit educated about the State of New Jersey. The cliched thing to say is “what exit” , not like you really know where that puts you on the map. I mean there's the Garden State Parkway and The New Jersey Turnpike, so which one are they referring to? They tell you Basking Ridge and you say “is that anywhere near Parsippany?”. Trying to sound knowledgeable about the location and also, because you have a cousin that lives there you can almost figure out the proximity to where they live. They say “it's about ½ and hour away”, now you know that Parsippany is about an hour or so away, so now you decide whether or not to continue the pursuit. Depending on the distance the same 2-3 scenarios would apply (for an explanation please see Bridge & Tunnel).
They come into the city, go to a bar/club almost on a regular basis (Thursday, Friday or Saturday), meet someone that is living in the city, then what? Do they think damn, why do they have to be living in the city. Do they realize that I live in the bowels of Jersey? I am not gonna be coming here all the time, they are gonna have to come to my place to prove themselves to me. Do I tell them that I live in Jersey? Now this last bit is tricky, I have encountered this. It's the I'm from NY thing, that some Jersey dwellers use on unsuspecting prey. They say they're from NY, and hope that you leave it alone. Get to kow you, good vibes are happening and then all of a sudden you ask for a number and SMACK, there's a 201, not a 212 area code. What the fuck just happened? It might even be a 609 and now you are thoroughly confused and pissed. What do you do? (refer to the 3 scenarios once again).
Now if they live in Hoboken or Jersey City and you don't live in BFE Queens or the nether regions of Brooklyn, this relationship may have a fighting chance. The Hoboken/Jersey City dweller is someone who is rent conscious, doesn't mind the short commute to mid-town and can be at your place in less than an hour. Not too bad for living across the river.
So beware of the Bridge and Tunnel crowd. They look the same and in some cases act the same, but by no means are they the same. They creep into the city, use a parking garage, or worse yet take up valuable street parking. You have been warned!