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November 10, 2008


photo-3.jpgHey babe. I have been doing a lot of thinking, mainly about us and where I see this relationship going. As you may have noticed, things have not been going that well as of late. My therapist told me that for a relationship to be successful, each partner must draw clearly defined lines and be respectful of those lines if they intend on continuing that relationship. It’s been one of the hardest decisions that I have ever had to make but I have decided that if you continue to choose to spend your time attending another one of your friends funerals over spending time with the man that you supposedly love, then I will have to break up with you.

I hate to have to give you an ultimatum but I guess that’s what it has come to for me. I just got to the point where I had to ask myself,  where do I draw the line? In the past couple of  weeks you have chosen  to spend the majority of your time visiting friend’s in the hospital, or going to their various funerals, or memorials, or wakes, the list goes on and on. Even when I did attend a few of those events with you, you hardly paid any attention to me at all. I want a girlfriend who if we are out together, whether its for dinner and a movie, or scrabble at a friends place, or one of her dead team mates from her amateur softball leagues funerals, she acts like I am her sole reason for being there. That’s the girlfriend I did have until you pulled a one-eighty on me sometime after the bus accident.

I know it’s been hard for you, I hear it everyday and I tried, believe me I tried to get on board with your new hobbies. Remember how I helped you with Sheryl’s collage? I was supposed to play poker that night, off course you didn’t know that cause you didn’t even think to ask if I had plans before asking me to pick up some pictures of Sheryl at her mother’s house on the way home from work. I don’t like making collages, that’s a girl thing. Do you know how much shit I got at work from Dave the next day when I told him I spent the night making a collage and arranging flowers? Dave’s not just gonna let that go.

I even went with you to Beth’s and Heather’s funerals without making a peep about missing two of the most important Nuggets games of the season, which we lost btw thanks for asking. And when I floated my Saving Private Ryan idea about not putting the entire soft ball team on the same bus to Beth and Heather’s brother and he called me a fucking asshole, you just sat there saying nothing. How do you think that made me feel?

Even when you are home you’re constantly on the phone with a friend or relative, or you’re writing one of your little eulogies, or just locking yourself in the bathroom with the lights off. When we first started dating you never used to curl up in the fetal position in your closet for hours on end, now that seems to be more important to you then going to quiz night at the Bear Inn. You used to love to do that kind of stuff. Who is this stranger and what have they done with my girlfriend?

Even little things like a couple days ago when I asked you to pick me up some beer on your way home from Ashley’s fundraiser and you brought home Coors light. Come on babe, you know I don’t tap the Rockies, at least you used to. And I don’t mean to be harsh, I mean Beth and Heather I understand but Ashley? Before she was in a coma you used to constantly complain about how shallow you thought she was. And now all of the sudden you are organizing fundraisers and driving her son to school everyday. Seems a little hypocritical if you ask me.

I truly do hope we get through this, I do. I have done my part now it is up to you. You have some serious thinking to do. I think you have to ask yourself, do you want to be with the man you have shared your life with for the last few years? Or would you rather continue to devote your life to the mourning and memory of people that died over two weeks ago. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but there will be other teams in the future. Better teams where you can make friends with better softball players who hire better bus drivers that don’t fall asleep at the wheel. The future looks bright, care to join me?