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July 19, 2016
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JoJo visits the hometowns of the final four guys. It was boring because they are all in love, but let's talk about it anyway!

Below is a recap from The Bachelorette episode from 7-18-16, the one with the hometowns. Spoilers, obviously.

HOMETOWNS! This should be an easy episode since the guys are quadruplets and JoJo only has to go to one house. Oh, wait? They’re not all brothers? That’s weird since they all look the same. But if you say so, ABC. Let’s go to different towns.

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Surprisingly, unrelated men.

1. Chase Asks His Dad About Divorce On Camera

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First up is Chase in Colorado. Chase continues to have the emotional expression of a robot running on low batteries. He tells JoJo that there was a bitter divorce between his parents and that’s what makes him slow to open up. They’ll be meeting with his parents separately because his mom and dad don’t speak to each other.

Dad comes over to Chase’s nice suburban house and Chase cuts to the…well, chase. For someone who has trouble opening up, he seemed eager to get an explanation from his dad about why he abandoned his family. Chase straight up asks his dad, who he hasn’t seen in a long time and is in front of cameras, “Why didn’t your first marriage work out?” And dad has an answer! A pretty honest one - he was working too much and wasn’t a good husband or father. He doesn’t want Chase to make the same mistake. I think we are witnessing the most important conversation Chase and his dad have ever had! What an amazing connection! They should not see each other more often!

2. Chase Has a Human Family

A robot tear seen here on Robot Chase 1000

Chase and JoJo head to his mom’s house to meet the rest of the family. Everyone refers to the divorce and it looms large over the family, especially the kids. Chase and his sister talk about how they can’t “drop L bombs” on people because it means a lot when they say it. Chase has a beautiful heart to heart with his mom about how much they love each other. She loves JoJo because JoJo has a great laugh. That’s the most important thing in a mate! Or the easiest thing to say about someone you don’t know, but have to compliment. Chase is really comfortable and less robotic around his family. He seems almost human. All of that pushes him to tell JoJo that he is falling in love with her. She’s happy to hear it, I think? She jumped right in the car and was off to another Hometown.

3. The Rodgers Family Doesn’t Want to Talk About Aaron, But We Do!

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JoJo visits Jordan in his hometown of Chico, CA and he’s got a big day planned. They are going to…his HIGH SCHOOL! Huh? Oh. Ok. Jordan didn’t have a girlfriend in high school so he takes JoJo to the cafeteria and the library so they can make out. A bunch of old teachers give him hugs and seem happy to see him. I guess this is endearing? They take a seat on the bleachers so he can act like a high schooler and avoid talking about things that upset him - this time it’s about his brother Aaron. He says there’s no need to bring it up when JoJo meets his family.

Cut to JoJo asking Jordan’s brother Luke about Aaron. He’s also locked up like a steel gate on the subject. No one wants to talk about Aaron. Not even how great he is about football. Bummer that the Rodgers’ don’t want to talk about him, but the rest of us do! Here is a GIF of Aaron crushing at football.

WOOWWWWW!

Ah, there he is!! Finally, we get to see Aaron. Why are we here? Oh. Jordan. He’s Aaron Rodgers’ brother! How fascinating. JoJo spends some time with Jordan’s mom and slips to her that she loves Jordan. Duh. Jordan, on the other hand, is really open to her and his family about how much he loves her. JoJo is scared. She’s worried he’s going to change his mind. Ben messed her up and she doesn’t want to be broken hearted on a game show again. I don’t blame her. Jordan has really good hair and you gotta watch out for that.

4. Robby Tells JoJo He Might Not Be Here for the Right Reasons

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Next hometown is with Robby in Florida. They take a ride on a horse drawn carriage and make out. JoJo’s main concern with Robby is that he is very recently out of a relationship. It ended three months ago. Hmm. Last week he said it ended four months ago. This timeline is pretty messed up. When did this show start shooting? Can’t be much longer than three months ago? Was Robby filling out applications while his girlfriend was asleep in bed? It’s a VERY tight timeline.

JoJo asks Robby’s mom if he is ready for a new commitment and she gives the very diplomatic answer that when he loves someone, he really loves them. K. That checks out so I guess he’s ready? When Robby talks to his mom, she clues him in that his ex’s roommate is spreading the rumor that he broke up with her to be on the show. Instead of handling that information that JoJo would never hear, he tells her right away. By bringing up that other people are questioning if he is there for the right reasons, he has now put that question in JoJo’s head. Is Robby here for the right reasons? For the wrong reasons? Pretty sure Robby is only here for manscaping reasons. He has a nice beard!! He must be trimming and grooming that thing on the regular. Probably hoping to get an endorsement from a razor brand. Good luck, Robby!

5. Luke Is So F’ing Romantic

Luke continues on his quest to be the world’s most romantic man. He takes JoJo on a ranch family picnic, a horseback ride, a romantic conversation as the sun sets and down a candlelit path to a heart made of flowers.

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GEEZ! Almost overkill Luke, but what a perfect time to tell JoJo that you love her. Buh, wait! He doesn’t say it! He says some shit about his heart being hers but he avoids the L word. Oh man. Hopefully, putting his hands all over her face while they kiss sends the message of love that he couldn’t say out of his mouth. He speaks in poetry, it’s weird that he can’t say I love you. In Luke’s romantic novel, that’s his character flaw.

6. JoJo, Will You Accept This Panic Attack?

The rose ceremony is at an airport hangar because everyone who gets a rose gets to leave on a private jet with JoJo. The guys are excited, but nervous. JoJo is emotional and worried from the get go. In her interview, she says she knows that she’s connected with all four guys and that it’s a really hard decision, but she’s going to send Luke home. WHAT?!?!?! HE’S MR. ROMANCE! I guess since he was the only one that didn’t tell her that he loves her, he has to go? Whatever, they are all just here until she can ride off to the end zone with Jordan anyway.

As JoJo picks up the first rose, she hesitates and Luke takes the opportunity to pull her outside. He tells her he loves her. NOW? She already made up her mind and now this new information changes things. That’s what she wanted to hear from him. So now, JoJo doesn’t know what to do and falls to her knees crying. Can someone help her? Give her a hug? A phone a friend? It seems unfair that she has to handle this emotional roller coaster by herself. Just don’t bring out Harrison.

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So the episode ends with poor JoJo having a meltdown outside the airport hangar and the dudes waiting to see who is going home. The good news is that next week there are TWO episodes. Is that good news? Monday night is a regular episode and Tuesday night is the guys’ tell all. Get ready to waste even more time on this next week.

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