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October 27, 2014
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John Oliver thinks Americans should measure their sugar consumption in circus peanuts.

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All good yuppies know sugar is the devil. But do we know how much sugar is actually in our food - yes, Brooklyn, even your sriracha? John Oliver has a plan to force food companies to disclose how much sugar is added to their food in a metric every American will understand: Candy circus peanuts, which he claims taste like “an elephant ejaculated into a packet of Splenda.”

Michelle Obama should stop waving around turnips and start talking about elephant jizz. That would put America right off their corn syrup.

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