All good yuppies know sugar is the devil. But do we know how much sugar is actually in our food - yes, Brooklyn, even your sriracha? John Oliver has a plan to force food companies to disclose how much sugar is added to their food in a metric every American will understand: Candy circus peanuts, which he claims taste like “an elephant ejaculated into a packet of Splenda.”
Michelle Obama should stop waving around turnips and start talking about elephant jizz. That would put America right off their corn syrup.