Wheeling, WV - John McCain told a semi-comprehending audience of average Americans today that his opponent Barack Obama is “a good and decent family man” who just happens to be a “negro muslim terrorist”.
McCain told the crowd that while he disagreed strongly with “Senator Obama’s plan to kill us all”, he hoped their differences could be resolved without any “Arab-style violence”.
The crowd, several of whom had teeth, seemed confused as to when exactly they should panic and run amok. Stoat Helms, a fifty-eight year old retired coal dust inhaler, was among the bewildered. “Either someone’s a treason lovin commie spearchucker or they ain’t”, said Helms, “McCain should make up my mind.”