Announcer (AN): Do you ever wonder what camera to get for yourself? Who cares about the megapixels, zoom, all the fancy features you have no idea how to use anyway. (Showing confused guy holding camera) All you want is to look great on pictures you take with your friends, family but it’s so difficult because you are fat or ugly; or both. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Well look no further, we have the product exactly for you!
Introducing brand new Maximus Perfecto
Do you want to look your best? Even bestest? Make everybody else jealous? Just use this camera on every occasion and you will. It has an automatic face detection- your face- detection (Showing a group of friends (all good looking) and you (ugly one) gathering to take a picture and you hand some guy your camera- he looks thru the camera, red square detects all faces but stops at yours, takes a picture and shows it to whole group; everybody is puzzled, picture shows their faces pale, huge red eyes, circles under eyes, bad hair.. and you look fabulous, bright teeth, hint of tan, skinnier…)
AN: does your vacation sucks? <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Jersey shore again for this year? Don’t worry, we got you covered. With the press of button you can enhance you vacation and make everybody on Facebook envy you( Showing guy on picture ; ugly beach, bad weather, press button and the beach ( background) changes to a beautiful Caribbean beach, blue ocean; another click and you add some hot bunny or two, another click and you look skinnier, some tan.. ).
AN: Additional features included; auto – mode (picture of you with some old beat up car and click/ nice Porsche) wife – mode (changes your wife into supermodel), house mode (old house turns into mansion), adventure mode (adds wild animals/ Sahara/ mountains…), family mode (Exchanges a picture of your family for Brat Pitt’s with Angelina), Michael Jackson mode (a black dude with bleached face) and many more..
So don’t sit around and get one now.
Maximus Perfecto, only $499
For limited time, you also receive the space mode (picture of you jumping on the moon/ flying in space)
Call Now! You don’t need to be loser again at your school reunion.