Alexander had locked the door behind him and was walking toward Samantha. She suddenly tensed. He had never locked the door before. Yet, he'd just done it, as if he'd done nothing at all. As if he'd done it a thousand times.
His jawline shown in the candlelight, his eyes gleaming with desire. He'd come into her room with a purpose.
"Come here, Samantha," he said in a low voice.
She obeyed, fearing he'd be angry with her if I dawdled even an instant. I mean if she dawdled even an instant, sorry.
And there they were. Face to face, heat emanating from their bodies with every beat of their hearts. Their pelvises suddenly equipped with powerful magnets, drawing closer and closer to each other. It was almost about to happen. She would be deflowered.
"Oh my god," groaned the author. "This is really hot. This is about to get really, really hot."
He quickly began to undress her. His fingers untied the sash, and briskly, with one movement, pulled her dress over her head. Removing her dress was easy enough, but he could see that the rest would be a little bit trickier.
"Dammit," he said through smiling lips. "You've made it harder than I thought."
She giggled at his clever double entendre. "I can make it harder." She reached back, tying her corset strings in an impossible double knot.
Come on! Just let him undress you, you idiot.
"You're being a bad girl," he said, unsheathing his knife without hesitation.
There we go! Now we're talking. Next thing he "unsheathes" will be his dick. I guarantee it.
She inhaled sharply, anticipating punishment. She'd pushed him too far. He was, after all, a warrior above all else. What was to stop him from carving her up like a turkey?
Blah Blah Blah, we get it, you think he's going to punish you first or whatever. Come on! Do it!
"And you will be punished," he breathed, cutting her corset strings free. "But not how you think."
BINGO! DING! DING! DING! Here we go. Now I'm cooking with grease!
With that, he scooped her up and carried her to her bed, taking no care as he pulled back the sheets, dropping Samantha underneath them. (How is she still dressed GODDAMMIT?!?!!) He yanked open Samantha's corset, releasing her ample breasts (OH BOY, of course they're huge, right? Perf nips. There they are.), and furiously began unbuckling his breechesssssss (Oooops sorry! I just knocked my fucking tea over into the keyboard I was so Goddamned aroused. Hang on. Let me mop this up real quick and.... okay, done. Sorry.) When his throbbing member was finally freed, he didn't hesitate to throw up her skirt (remember, she's a VIRGIN GUYS, here it comes) and enter her for the first time*&dal;!!oke!jf (SHIT. I just shattered the screen of my laptop when I kicked it off of my desk. It's REALLY HARD to rub one out in your office chair with your legs up and also keep writing a fucking romance novel, okay fellas!!!!?? Oh well, I'll write off my laptop anyway.). He quickly began pummeling her pulsating sex at a steady, but forceful pace. There we go. Yep, that's it. Mommy's happy. Finally. Oh Jesus Christ. Oh yeah. Yep. There we go. Ohhhhh mmmm....
Ummm... then Samantha and Alexander just laid there for a minute as the author opened up a few tabs in pornhub.com, chose from a variety of Scandinavian bondage pornography, and feverishly masturbated until completion 4 times.
And then Samantha and Alexander got dressed and went about their business because I already came a bunch of times and I'm tired. Goodnight.
Kelly Hudson writes for AdultSwim.com