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June 16, 2009
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From the ASK NICOLE series at www.toromagazine.com


Nicole!  I saw you at the movies watching the new X-Men.  Well I wasn’t watching you watch the movie because that would be weird but I saw you there.  Did you like it?  You watching X-Men has definitely put you even higher on my cool list.

Tom Kitchens –via Myspace

 

Hey Tom!  Glad to hear I’m climbing that cool list of yours and indeed t’was me at the Wolverine movie, which was awesome.  I actually wanted to see it for one reason and one reason only… 

to FINALLY SEE A BLACK SUPERHERO.

I knew that Will I Am, who I can only assume likes green eggs and ham, was going to play a mutant or  X-Men, er… X-Man?, or something... and I had to see if it were true.

 

I know what people might be thinking:

“Nicole, there are a bunch of black super heroes”, but I beg to differ, and Obama doesn’t count.

 

I present my case:

 

WILL SMITH:  Contrary to popular belief, Will Smith is NOT actually a superhero.  In his all his movies he plays himself, and though “Super mouthy” and “Super fly” are cool... he’s not really a hero.

 

HALLE BERRY aka “STORM” in X-Men:  Sure she looked smoking hot in her little hero suit, and I got used to the white hair, but she is the lamest excuse for a superhero, let alone an X-Men…er Man…er Woman ever.

 

Exhibit A: Her “power”.  She can make storms…in a few minutes.

 

“She can make it rain, REALLY hard…if you just hold on a sec”, is not a real threat to an evil villain let alone a plant.

All I’m saying is you shouldn’t be able to defeat a super hero with an umbrella or by laying in a valley.

 Exhibit B: She’s not really black, she’s more a Beyonce beige.

Which is why I went to see the new X-Men, only to find out Will I Am’s power… was that he can disappear!?!?

A black guy who takes off?  They do that all the time!  Hence the stereotypes!  That is what black men DO.

Marvel come on, the blue girl can transform into anyone, the white guys have all different powers, and the black guy disappeared…but wait…HE came back.  He came back!

Ladies and gents, I believe we have our first black superhero.

 

 

Thanks for writing Tom, and as always,

Keep Laughin’

 

Nicole xoxo

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