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April 24, 2012
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A true story about real life... as apposed to a fake story about real life.

I'm sure you have all had this happen to you, but I have to gripe...

What is the deal with the Crosswalk Newcomer?! So there I was. I just picked up my lunch across the street from my office. I'm hungry, but happy. I have my meal in hand and my future looks well fed. On my way back I catch the red hand that indicates "Put the breaks on buddy. You're gonna be here a while." I'm a patient person. So, I hit the yellow boob on the side of the light pole and continue my game of Draw Something.

2-3 minutes later this guy walks behind me (mind you, I'm in a court of my peers so I'm not the only one witnessing this) and he hits the yellow boob.

As if I would be standing there all this time and not hit the button. "Holy shit! Why didn't I think of that?!! I could have starved to death waiting for that damn walk signal! Thank you, Kind Sir! Now I don't have to eat your butt cheek like those rugby players in 'Alive'. (good flick)"

I look at the scrubbed up nurse who has also been waiting to ride this rainbow bridge to the other side of Santa Monica Blvd., and we are on the same page. This mother fucker. He continues to chat on his bluetooth earpiece like its cutting edge tech and we should all be in awe over his benevolent blinking blue light.

Soon enough, the man in in white tells us to move forward with our lives. And I got my working lunch. I know I shouldn't be worked up, but this shit happens all the time #firstworldproblems. I never said this story had a point. I'm just sayin'.

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