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September 25, 2015
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Speaker of the House John Boehner announced he'll be stepping down after a tumultuous run. Here is the email blast he sent out to his party members.

Speaker of the House John Boehner announced he’ll be stepping down after a tumultuous run. Here is the email blast he sent out to his party members.


From: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
To: team@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Friends. It is with great sadness that I announce that I am ret


From: Ted Cruz [HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com]
To: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

K cool bye


From: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
To: team@republicans.com
cc: HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Jesus, I accidentally sent that before I finished writing yet you somehow already responded? What I’m trying to say is that after many years and many hard fought battles with that conniving Ob


From: Marco Rubio [WaterLover69@republicans.com]
To: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

cool no prob bye


From: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
To: Marco Rubio [WaterLover69@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Obama. I meant to say Obama.


From: Kevin McCarthy [IWantYourJobMyNameIsKevinMcCarthy@republicans.com]
To: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com, WaterLover69@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Hi u shud retire u r old

Sincerely,
the guy who wants your job


From: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
To: Kevin McCarthy [IWantYourJobMyNameIsKevinMcCarthy@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com, WaterLover69@republicans.com

Subject: With great sadness

That’s what I’m trying to tell you guys but I’m trying to do my emails on this goddamn Dell computer and it keeps sending them before I’m ready!


From: Marco Rubio [WaterLover69@republicans.com]
To: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com, IWantYourJobMyNameIsKevinMcCarthy@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

lol dell. anyway i agree with kev. u shut retire


From: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
To: Marco Rubio [WaterLover69@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com, IWantYourJobMyNameIsKevinMcCarthy@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

I AM RETIRING. I AM RETIRING IN OCTOBER BUT I WISH IT WAS TODAY. I HATE THIS GOVERNMENT AND I HATE ALL OF YOU. ALL I DID WAS TRY. I TRIED TO NOT SHUT THIS GOVERNMENT DOWN AND NOBODY LIKED IT. SO THEN I TRIED MAKING FACES BEHIND OBAMA DURING HIS SPEECHES AND NOBODY LIKED IT. I TRIED DEFENDING OUR GOVERNMENT FOR YOU. THEN I TRIED NOT SHUTTING THIS THING DOWN AGAIN AND NOBODY LIKED IT.


From: Ted Cruz [HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com]
To: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, WaterLover69@republicans.com, IWantYourJobMyNameIsKevinMcCarthy@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Did you try crying?


From: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
To: Ted Cruz [HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, WaterLover69@republicans.com, IWantYourJobMyNameIsKevinMcCarthy@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

YES I TRIED CRYING


From: Marco Rubio [WaterLover69@republicans.com]
To: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com, IWantYourJobMyNameIsKevinMcCarthy@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

I know this may seem impossible to tell if because we’re just emailing, but you’re crying right now, aren’t you?


From: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
To: Marco Rubio [WaterLover69@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com, IWantYourJobMyNameIsKevinMcCarthy@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Yes I am an emotional man. Fuck this. I’m out of here. This is your problem. I’m moving to the beach.


From: Donald Trump [MakeEmailGreatAgain@republicans.com]
To: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Hey guys, just got this. Who is this guy? I have never heard of him and he is a loser.


From: Ted Cruz [HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com]
To: Donald Trump [MakeEmailGreatAgain@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, GavelBoy@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Here’s a picture of him at the beach that I found.

john.jpg

From: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
To: Donald Trump [MakeEmailGreatAgain@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

That is not me. It looks like you photoshopped my face on Seth Rogen’s body. I think you all know that.


From: Donald Trump [MakeEmailGreatAgain@republicans.com]
To: John Boehner [GavelBoy@republicans.com]
cc: team@republicans.com, HeyHeyNoGay@republicans.com
Subject: With great sadness

Tremendous pic.

Josh, it’s got your name on it. That’s all the documentation I need.

P.S. I plan on making all your email addresses public. I am Trump.

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