The invention of a self-aware, robotic assault rifle that knowingly and enthusiastically kills people has forced the National Rifle Association to change their long-cherished and oft-repeated belief that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.”
Said Wayne LaPierre, the NRA’s chief spokesman today; “The invention of this walking, thinking-killing-gun on robot legs has forced us to reconsider our position. It seems some guns do kill people. We’re looking at some new slogans like ‘guns don’t kill people, people and guns that kill people kill people’, or maybe ‘most guns don’t kill people except those self-aware guns that exist only to kill people kill people.’ We’re throwing it around the room.
“But one thing that is certain is that the only thing that stops an evil self-aware gun imbued with Artificial Intelligence that kills people is a good self-aware gun that doesn’t kill any people. So hopefully the evil scientists make some of those, too. Fingers crossed.”
Added LaPierre; “They can take my self-aware robot gun that murdered me when it pries itself from my cold dead hand.”
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