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December 02, 2014

SPOILER ALERT: The killer in the popular podcast "Serial" has finally been revealed.

Spoiler Alert:
I know who killed Hae.

If you’re into “Serial" and you don’t want it ruined for you, then stop reading right now.

It was my friend Reed Berger. I know what you’re thinking, “Reed Berger, who is that? I’ve been listening to “Serial” for weeks now and I’ve never heard of Reed Berger.” Well, he’s the killer. You see, Reed is a friend of mine here in NYC and he’s the only person I know who’s not hanging on the edge of his seat while waiting to figure out who killed Hae Min Lee. How could this be? How could anyone not be on the edge of their seats wondering about who killed Hae? And then it hit me… it’s because Reed did it. He’s the only person in the first world not gripped by this story, and why isn’t he gripped? Because he knows the end already. And the only way that’s possible is to have first hand knowledge. Reed killed Hae, that sick bastard.


Nope, it wasn’t Adan and it wasn’t Jay.

Now, I don’t fancy myself a crime reporter or investigator by any means, but it’s so obvious that Reed killed Hae. I mean, every time our group of friends gets together we talk about “Serial.” And what does Reed do? He rolls his eyes and looks totally disinterested. Most of the time he says stuff like, “not this again,” and then disappears to the bar for another drink, and when he comes back if we’re still talking about it he’s like “Jesus, you guys are still talking about this?” Hmmm, not-want-to-add-anything-to-a-convo-about-a-murder-you-committed much? God, how does he live with himself.


Reed plays an outdated video game to avoid perjuring himself in a group discussion at the table.

Avoiding the issue isn’t the only thing Reed does either. He also goes out of his way to try to get me and everyone else to stop talking about the case in a shaming kind of way. He says things to me like, “Since when do you listen to podcasts?” and “You donated to a public radio show? Weren’t we just making fun of how farmer’s markets are just Meetup’s for people with NPR totes?” I mean jeez, could Reed be anymore glaring that he’s scared of this all leading to him once and for all? Well I thought not, and then he said this, “Sydney, I’ve never heard you mention Reddit even once, and now you won’t shut the fuck up about something called a Subreddit.” Damn, something on that Subreddit is really hitting a nerve, that monster Reed must think that if he doesn’t read it then he can just pretend he isn’t a strangler.

Yesterday I decided to test Reed once and for all. I told him that it had been announced that Adnan Syed is getting an appeal. Literally every single person I’ve told this to high fived me. If Reed would just high five me I’d know that he too was surprised and relieved that Adnan’s getting another shot at innocence. But Reed didn’t high five me, no, he just sat there motionless and eventually pretended to be bored. If that’s not guilt then I don’t know what is.


“Adnan? Appeal?”
And the Oscar goes to Reed.

Finally, I just exploded, I asked Reed point-blank if he killed Hae. He said, “What the fuck did you just ask me? Did I kill someone? Did you really just ask me that?” He grew very annoyed. It was so clear to me that his frustration was some sort of an internal struggle of whether to keep up the innocent act or to finally confide in a friend after fifteen years of keeping this dark secret. Once he calmed down he was just so full of denials, it’s amazing how a person you thought you knew so well can change into a different person in such a short amount of time. Reed said things like “I was fourteen years old when this happened… and I lived in Dayton, Ohio. How could I have possibly killed someone in Baltimore on Wednesday January 13, 1999?”

I asked him to tell me everything he did that day. He said, “I probably went to school and probably watched ‘Dawson’s Creek’ that night.” When I pressured him about what happened on that particular episode of 'the Creek’ he said, “Dude, I don’t know, a bunch of them probably made out with each other.” The conversation ended there. Reed said he was sick of being friends and wants time off until this podcast is over. I don’t blame him, it’s probably exhausting to have a bestie figuring out your own heinous crime.


Notice that Reed touched his face before denying he killed Hae. Wow, what a tell.

It’s hard to lose a friend over something like this, I keep thinking, “Is Reed gonna kill ME now? That’s why I’m writing this letter, so that everyone knows in case something happens. When I fact checked what he said about the episode of “Dawson’s Creek” he was right. The episode that aired on that January night was called “High Risk Behavior” and several of the characters did make out with each other. “Hmmm,” I thought, “maybe he didn’t kill Hae,” but then I realized one important thing, EVERY episode of “Dawson’s Creek” had make out sessions.


Proof that I was recently with Reed. Why doesn’t he want his face photographed?

Reed is one slimy, persuasive dude who’s just full of denials and has more questions than he has answers. Remind you of the qualities of a murder suspect? Exactly.

-Sydney Hollis

Sorry Reed, I had to.