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A common misconception regarding the art of coming off casual is that it requires a full time lackadaisical approach to everything; this is of course nonsense. In order to REALLY get your chillaxing on, SOMEONE at SOMETIME has gotta prepare SOMETHING; remember that pregnancy scare that you didn’t have in high school with that one cool-chick/dude? Oh of course you don’t because you used a condom and there WAS NO SCARE - pretty cool right?! Sometimes you gotta remember that a little planning goes a long way, and in the summer time, a little planning helps you <ahem> beat the heat. But just because you’re being practical about staying chilled the fuck out, doesn’t mean you have to be all boring-n-shit about it - there are plenty of people offering cool version of practical ideas all at a low low price. Behold The Sunglasses Sun Visor.

Sun visors cut the heat in your car by up to 80% depending on how much of that bologna you want to believe but if you put a sun visor on your whip with some MOTHER FUCKING SHADES on it … then your car temp will be brought all the way down to an icy 69 degrees … if you catch my drift. Sunglasses are cool, everyone knows that, and it turns out they’re mad practical too.

When you see a car with these shades on you know the person owning the car is legit. Look at the above picture - I’ll wait - what is that car?!? A late 80s Ford Ranger? Look, I’ve known a TON of dudes with this truck, and they are shit-boxes but the dudes who drive ‘em generally like working on their trucks over the weekends (because they have to) with 3-4 “good buddies” all while slamming Budweisers. These are my people. They don’t take things too seriously and love a good joke - this dude gussies up the shittiest truck on the block with some shades?!!??!?! Yeah, he is hilarious and best of all, he knows it. His name is probably Terry.

So please, if you own a car and want to keep it cool this summer, plan ahead, find some of these shades, they’re practical and total babe magnets. (Again please wear condoms this summer and always.) Don’t ask me - ask Terry. Dude has an eagle tattooed on his shoulder; he knows how to get chicks.

 

Follow me on twitter @pauldanke

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