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September 14, 2010

Breaking news

LCR Sees Backlash From Flying Humanoids

Grover, NC -- Le Cou Rouge Films (LCR), producer of such controversial films as "The Good, the Bad and the Nipples, " and "A Fistful of Balls," is in trouble yet again. Their latest film, "Flying Humanoids," has kicked up a cloud of controversy so thick that it eclipses even their most controversial film to date, "Two Boys for Father Flannagan."

"It's sinful," said Lawnmore preacher Pinkie Sphincter. Sphincter preaches at the Church of Divers Places in Lawnmore, North Carolina, where scuba divers are used in the baptismal. "We don't cotton to things like that around here," said Sphincter, visibly irritated.

'Humanoids' has raised the ire of conservatives, liberals, and rabbit breeders alike.

Conservative blogger Lucida Console called it "the most repugnant expositor of amorality and filth that has ever traversed the bowels of the internet." "That's what I thought, too," said outspoken liberal columnist Scarlett Organs, who chose not to use his real name for this article. Meanwhile, local conservative rag The Shelby Star observed, "It's at is something big alarming story on Tuesday." Two out of three independent observers are confused as to what that means.

In Boiling Springs, rabbit breeder Charlie "Pellets" O'Hare complained of the effect the film has had on his bunnies and on his business. "That film's done turned 'em all gay," said the grandfatherly O'Hare. "It's hell to see. They's a-humpin' but they ain't a-breedin'." O'Hare says his breeding is down two hundred percent since "Humanoids" first appeared on Youtube, but the 73-year-old could not readily identify how the rabbits found the link to the video. "I don't know nothin' about computers," said O'Hare.

According to some industry experts, the fallout over "Humanoids" may lead to the shuttering of Le Cou Rouge, but executive producer Glarn Blanson is unshaken. "We've been through all this before," said Blanson, "and if Ozzy couldn't shut us down, neither can Pat Robertson." Blanson is referring to the 2009 incident in which Ozzy Osbourne was so offended by the content of an LCR film that he felt no one should be allowed to see it except Navy Seals in torture training. The name of that film has been banned by all NATO allies, but is available on Amazon Kindle.

Still, problems with distribution continue to be a hindrance to Le Cou Rouge. All of LCR's previous films were pulled in record time from such popular video web sites as Youtube and Vimeo. As of this afternoon, "Humanoids" was still up for viewing, but if history is any indicator, it may have a very short run before complaints bring it down.

All this comes at a very bad time for LCR. Within the past two weeks the company has been hit with a slander lawsuit, complaints of unsafe working conditions, allegations of tax evasion, fraud, embezzlement, money laundering, animal prostitution and jaywalking.