To make myself feel better when I order from McDonalds I refrain from telling them the size of what I order. I'll say, "give me a fry and a pop." I want the large or supersize or whatever the biggest container they have, but i feel fat saying it.
I get nervous though that i'll get stuck with a small (which I finish before i pull out on to the main road) but they never fail me. Those sly McFuckers always give me the biggest size and when they hand me my order we share a look that says, "I know you're fat and don't care about your health so you lie to yourself and put the blame on others...and I know you're a loser with acne that will knock up a fat white girl within the year and you're probably pocketing this money that i'm handing you. But guess what, we need each other.