This will be a short one because... well because I'm worn out that's why. As many (both) of you know, I am unemployed. For those of you that didn't know, I suggest you pay more attention. Folks think being unemployed is easy, what with all the doing whatever I want stuff, cat-like sleeping patterns and endless supplies of young non discriminating vagina but no... it's a real job and goddamnit I have excelled at it!
Sorry, folks. Don't argue this one, the proof is in the pudding. I got a fucking raise! Yes ma'am, the unemployment check I opened today (which I got like a week ago but couldn't be bothered with opening) shows me I got a $25 raise. That's $12.50 a week ladies and I'm willing to spend it all on you... or coke... bad coke... a small amount of really bad coke... maybe some roast beef...
Today is a day to celebrate and I promise you all it may be a few days late because I'm lazy but I will send that unemployment form today... I think.
P.S. Fuck St. Patrick's Day and fuck "cultures". It's all nonsense. "Pride" breeds separatism but that's all I'll say about that.