My hometown Mets are in the playoffs, and it turns out baseball is pretty fun. But it could be even better! Here’s how I would do it.
- Regulation fields. It’s kind of crazy that baseball stadiums do not have a regulation size. Players might hit a totally different number of home runs depending on where they play. To me, this takes away from the legitimacy of the sport, and 150 years of history isn’t going to change my mind.
- Play indoors. Baseball is played outdoors, but honestly what’s the point? Any little bit of inclement weather causes them to delay games. It’s a bummer. If you’re going to play outdoors, you should be ready to deal with the elements. Instead of postponing games when it rains, why not just play inside? It will make the fans more comfortable, and prevent games from being rescheduled.
- Make the game 5 on 5. Now that we have smaller, regulation fields, and are playing indoors, it makes sense to have less players on the
courtfield at once. Also, how is it fair to have 9 defensive players at once, but just one offensive player? 5 on 5 has a much better flow, and allows for seamless transitions between offense and defense. This is going great! Baseball will be good in no time.
- Bigger ball, play on wood, and rename it basketball. These should all be pretty self-explanatory. Baseballs are small and hard, and often hurt fans when they are hit into the bleachers. A large, bouncy, orange ball will prevent countless injuries. Now that we’re playing 5 on 5 indoors, wood will be easier to maintain than grass. And, most importantly, since the sport is now played by putting the ball into a basket elevated 10 feet above the ground, baseball doesn’t really make sense as a name. Let’s go with basketball.
- Less White People. You know how it is.