1) 2:40 pm. Wake up.
2) 2:40 -3:11pm Stare at ceiling/try not to throw up.
3) 3:11pm Make coffeee.
4) 3:16 pm. Throw up.
5) 3:16:03 Begin making empty promises/praying
6) 3:18pm Go back to bed.
7) 3:18:01 pm. Realize there’s someone in your bed.
8) 3:18:01:05 pm Realize it’s Jeff Foxworthy.
9) 3:18:02 pm. Remember that you fucked Jeff Foxworthy last night.
10) 3:20pm. Take cell phone picture of Jeff Foxworthy sleeping in your bed.
11) 3:25-3:40pm Drink coffee/curse yourself for dropping out of school to follow Phish.
12) 3:4pm Awkward good bye with Jeff Foxworthy. He tells you to call him “J. Fox” gives you his .Mac address.
13) 3:44pm. Cry
14) 3:58pm Take shower.
15) 4:15pm Masturbate/cry.
16) 5:00pm Begin shift as night manager at Fudruckers.
17) 8:30pm Go on break.
18) 8:32pm Log onto computer and check Jeff Foxworthy’s website.
19) 8:33pm See from his tour schedule that Jeff Foxworthy was at an Indian Casino on the East Coast last night.
20) 8:33:04pm Realize that you fucked Jeremy Foxworthy last night, Jeff Foxworthy’s younger brother.
21) 8:35pm Cry.
22) 8:38pm. Go to bathroom to spalsh cold water on your face before returning to work.
23) 8:38:10pm Look in the mirror and remember that you are Maureen Tenuta, younger sister of accordian playing comedienne Judy Tenuta.
24) 8:39 pm -? Stare at wrists.