Full Credits

Written by Seth Morris

Stats & Data

October 26, 2008



1)    2:40 pm. Wake up.
2)    2:40 -3:11pm Stare at ceiling/try not to throw up.
3)    3:11pm Make coffeee.
4)    3:16 pm. Throw up.
5)    3:16:03 Begin making empty promises/praying
6)    3:18pm Go back to bed.
7)    3:18:01 pm. Realize there’s someone in your bed.
8)    3:18:01:05 pm Realize it’s Jeff Foxworthy.
9)    3:18:02 pm. Remember that you fucked Jeff Foxworthy last night.
10)   3:20pm. Take cell phone picture of Jeff Foxworthy sleeping in your bed.
11)   3:25-3:40pm Drink coffee/curse yourself for dropping out of school to follow Phish.
12)   3:4pm Awkward good bye with Jeff Foxworthy. He tells you to call him “J. Fox” gives you his .Mac address.
13)   3:44pm. Cry
14)   3:58pm Take shower.
15)   4:15pm Masturbate/cry.
16)   5:00pm Begin shift as night manager at Fudruckers.
17)   8:30pm Go on break.
18)   8:32pm Log onto computer and check Jeff Foxworthy’s website.
19)   8:33pm See from his tour schedule that Jeff Foxworthy was at an Indian Casino on the East Coast last night.
20)   8:33:04pm Realize that you fucked Jeremy Foxworthy last night, Jeff Foxworthy’s younger brother.
21)   8:35pm Cry.
22)   8:38pm. Go to bathroom to spalsh cold water on your face before returning to work.
23)   8:38:10pm Look in the mirror and remember that you are Maureen Tenuta, younger sister of accordian playing comedienne Judy Tenuta.
24)   8:39 pm -? Stare at wrists.