So um my sister So-and-so (let's just call her that) is having a conversation and talking to someone loud as fucking fuck like always ( and she wonders why i turn up the T.V. so loud) I'm like biznitch I don't want to hear your dirty ass mouth. Um did you forget there isn't any door on your wall ( can't really call it a room) you do realize I'm not fucking deaf right because that shit seems to slip your brain a Hell of a lot. I didn't even know sorry was in your vocabulary. Anyways I'm watching the Lakers game right, you know it's half time and shit and out of fucking nowhere all I hear is anal sex. W.T.F are you kidding me, are you kidding me with this shit?
then she says "well have you ever tried it?" or some shit then I say " wait his anus or yours?") and this conversation goes for about 5 minutes ( that is 4 minutes and 50 no 55 seconds too long. Then I hear her say "well how do you know you don't like it if you never tried it. O.M.G what the hells my ears okay wait before anybody get on my ass for being a hypocrite. I know I say some wild shit trust me I know I get it from my moms. At least I have the decency to censor a some if not a lot of stuff I say. ( sometimes unless I'm raging but still to a level of moral conduct I guess) (finger's crossed)
Then out of nowhere I hear "well if you want to you can try it." I'm like okay serious, seriouisly am I not even in the next room? but if I walk over there and punch you in the fucking face I bet you'd remember me then. Then the worse part ( I know it goes into a down-ward spiral from the beginning) I hear "I just want to you to feel me" Okay son of a bitch ugh, really, really. Wow what the fuck now I really think your a whore at first you were just a dirty little hamster ( thanks Jersey Shore, the only good you've ever done for me, besides drama, and J-Woww's tits, and ass, and the fight between J-woww and Sammie ( which is cute by the way) man it's mind fucking I do have a vivid imagination and that shit is traumatizing damn it. it's getting hard for me to mast- er I mean play patty cake, yes, play patty cake with myself. Almost ruining sex and a healthy relationship for me, then I'll have to go to therapy, real fucking therapy. To pay money and tell him/her my problems look bitch that's why I talk to myself in the first place, I'm very very honest and very cheap, damn near free. I pay me nothing (it's in my budget.) ( almost bias but not like Fox News)
Have you ever noticed how therapist is spelled exactly like the rapist except the space in between. I um just noticed that although Squid-Billies did point that out in an episode. ( I guess you would have to change your name to The Therapist.) So if I do ever become a serial killer ya'll know why. Just Kidding always a joke. So if you don't respect yourself how do you expect me to. but your my sister and I love you because I have to. honestly you make me want to kill. ( Motioning a Scream movie knife in my hand then I wipe it clean) Stab you, stab you, stab you, stab you, stab you, Pills, I hate myself. (with a shaking of a fist) Daaaamn Yooouuu Fidel Castro!!!, Communism Unite!! Ge'thendukberhevndukenwhiz' ( my own version of German) ( with the Nazi saltue, right hand to left chest then extend in the air) wow I'm sorry this is wild. only a little though.) and people wonder why I'm crazy can I get a crazy check, prease? Am I missing out on some government money? Bitch this is being a product of my environment and I try to use it to my advantage but it always turns out into some crazy hilarious joke.
God bless and good night signing off this is Ted Koppel.
P.S. It's just a joke not to be taken seriously but as I stated yes I've been through it, but it's called ventilating. Also Adult Content/Language/ H for hilarity, R for retarded. Maybe I should have my own F.C.C. catergory we're adults here right?