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419Funny
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December 08, 2014
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Description

A glimpse at some of the million trillion things Big Sean would rather do than fuck with you.

-Finally watch The Wire

-Learn to cook risotto

-Check out “Cars Land” at Disney’s California Adventure

-Finally watch Cars (pending enjoyment of “Cars Land”)

-Investigate what really happened on September 11th, 2001

-Follow McDonald’s on Twitter

-Learn to hunt deer

-Go to Whole Foods on ecstasy

-Paint a picture

-Read a book

-Watch A Simple Plan on Amazon Prime Instant Video

-Play that new Lord of the Rings video game

-Invest in a Hermosa Beach juice bar/sandwich wrap business

-Buy a custom pair of Air Force 1’s dipped in real gold

-Call an old friend, see how they’re doing

-Learn to count cards

-Set a DVR season pass for Shark Tank reruns

-Shop for new undershirts online

-Buy a new TV for the guest bedroom

-Visit the Monterey Bay Aquarium

-Smoke weed on a Ferris wheel

-Buy Weezer’s Pinkerton on vinyl

-Invent a better iPhone battery

-Feed steak to pigeons in a park

-Fuck with someone else who specifically isn’t you

-Sign up for Pinterest

-Go gluten free for a week

-Unsubscribe from the Souplantation email list

-Rent a purple Lambo and drive to Syracuse

-Buy season tickets to the LA Galaxy

-Beat Mario 64

-Book a hotel room for Coachella

-Donate blood

-Try ramen

-Just nap all day

-Benihana with the crew

-Learn to speak Mandarin

-Re-watch Lost

-Jurassic Park marathon

-Go for a hike with the crew

-Sign up to be an Uber driver

-Swim in every ocean

-Take a bunch of orphans shopping on Christmas

-Find out what the fuck “Imagine Dragons” is

-Get a Wii U and let kids online know what time it is with that new Super Smash

-Petition for a Small Wonder Blu-ray release

-Make the perfect chopped salad

-Buy a statue of a cheetah

-Spend $10,000 in one visit to Trader Joe’s

-Make a vision board for 2015 goals

-Mini golf with the crew

-Watch The Lion King two times in one day

-Ravioli night at the house

-Wine tasting in Napa Valley

-Knott’s Scary Farm

-Stop making Starbucks jokes about girlfriend’s name

-Get into Elvis Costello

-Buy a Mophie for the iPad

-Listen to Serial

-Look at clouds

-Go to LACMA on a Thursday

-Create a scholarship for strippers who actually go to college

-Learn to knit

-Knit a blanket for Kanye’s kid

-Sign up for TSA PreCheck

-Follow some dogs on Instagram

-Delete Tinder for good

-Sushi for breakfast

-Spa day

-Cut toenails

-Buy one pair of Jordans for every day of the year

-Clear inbox

-Learn how to pronounce “Cannes”

-Go to Cannes

-Visit a Walmart in Arizona just to see what the vibe is like

-Jamba Juice with the crew

-Try rollerblades

-Eat three hot dogs

-Get Lasek eye surgery

-Visit the Grand Canyon

-Avoid Sons of Anarchy finale spoilers in case one day decide to watch whole series

-Lou Reed playlist on Spotify

-Call Kendrick, see if he’s down for lunch next Saturday

-Buy a pinball machine for the rumpus room

-Subscribe to Maxim

-Go to Comic-Con

-Buy the most rare cat you can purchase

-Get the haters the fuck up out the way

-Solve a mystery

-Learn to love self

-Make more lists

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