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March 04, 2017
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Episode synopses of the new Netflix show "Shock and Awww!"

“Shock and Awww!” A Netflix Original

Episode One: Peter “Flathead” Bandaleski breaks into Dr.Rachel Dowell’s house, helping himself to state-of-the-art electronics and eager for more potential loot from her bedroom. When Flathead sees Rachel’s beautiful portrait in an upstairs hallway, though, he drops his plans immediately, runs to a florist, and orders carryout from a trendy vegan place. He eagerly returns and waits for Rachel to find him in her bathtub, candles merrily glowing, and rose petals strewn across the hot outfit he has picked out for her!

Episode Two: John Phillips Hardimann, better known as “The Topeka Ripper,” stuns everyone at police headquarters when he turns himself in.The Ripper has been terrorizing the ever smaller sex worker community in the greater Topeka area, leaving fallen women sliced and diced in downtown dumpsters—minus their hearts. Despite gruesome rumors that he eats the hearts, Hardimann confesses that he keeps them suspended in formaldehyde-filled Mason jars atop his console TV. When Detective Ernie Cho asks why he decided to turn himself in, the teary-eyed Ripper sobs that he just mistakenly killed a hooker with a heart of gold.

Episode Three: Jimmy O’Shaughnessy sneaks in to St. Owen’s Church to steal donations from the prayer candle box. Seeing the good Lord’s admonishing gaze, however, he has second thoughts and decides to make a contribution instead. At that moment, the old pipe organ’s D# pipe falls from its place as though divinely endowed and crushes the little scamp’s left arm. During his hospitalization, his sixth-grade class, under the guidance of Fr. Mike, takes up a collection to buy Jimmy a specially-fitted baseball mitt.

Episode Four: Local hophead Maggie prepares a doozy of a dose for her screenwriter beau, Maxwell—or so she thinks. Already a little loopy, she draws a big air bubble up in the needle they have been sharing for weeks. Maxwell injects the heroin and dies from a heart attack. Or does he? Clever Maggie quickly drags Maxwell outside and drops him under a tree, grabs their cat, Smokey Toes, and cries for help. Neighbors declare Maxwell a hero for giving his life to save Smokey from a tree! Detective Ernie Cho has his doubts.

Episode Five: Dr. Rachel Dowell tends to young Jimmy, who develops a crush on her while recuperating. Meanwhile, a mysterious aerobics instructor begins teaching a series of bizarre dance moves to a ragtag band of disaffected teachers and juvenile delinquents in a neighborhood display home.While walking his Shih Tzu (“Colonel Sunshine”) through the neighborhood, Detective Cho thinks he sees movements in the recently constructed home and develops suspicions. Shaking them off, he returns home. Through a window we see him give Colonel Sunshine a treat, holding it in his mouth and stooping down to the li’l Shih Tzu’s level in a tender exchange of a milk bone for lots of sloppy,affectionate kisses.

Episode Six: Desperate for cash, Maggie auctions Maxwell’s telescript, “Breaking Bread,” about a priest who resorts to desperate measures to save his parish church from foreclosure. Although disappointed with the meager take of $11.43, she can at least buy a speedball and maybe hook again now that the Ripper has been apprehended. The buyer, known only by the eBay user name notfathermike@st.owens.church, also views (but does not purchase) used church organs.

Episode Seven: The inexplicably complicated dance moves save lives as a shooter descends upon St. Owen’s High School cafeteria. As the madman picks off the dancers one by one, sparing the other students, a line cook tackles him, thus ending the rampage. All dancers save the mysterious instructor are wounded—but none fatally. Fr. Mike arrives at the hospital to declare their survival a miracle. Detective Cho has his doubts.

Episode Eight: Staff Sergeant Michelle “Mitchie” Mitchell returns home from a second tour in Iraq and can only think about surprising her girlfriend, Dr. Rachel Dowell, before Rachel gets home from working an emergency shift at the hospital. With their shared love of ancient weaponry, Mitchie is especially eager to show off the scimitar she acquired in Mosul. Boy, is Flathead Bandaleski in for a surprise.

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