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July 06, 2015

Bernie Sanders has the highest attended political rally this year, but Hillary's not buying it.

10,000 people showed up to a Bernie Sanders rally in Wisconsin, breaking the attendance record for all candidates this year. Meanwhile, a new Hillary Clinton email was released. Seems like someone’s a little jealous.

To: HillaryClinton@thehillforprez.com
From: HillaryClinton@thehillforprez.com
Subject: Stupid Things That 10,000 People Show Up To

Hillary. You are a strong, intelligent woman, and you will not be defeated. Calm down. Don't knock over everything on your desk again. This means nothing. More than 10,000 people go to stupid stuff all the time.

-Six Flags in one day

-Major League Soccer games

-Bill Clinton charity event

-Ringo Star concerts (I love Ringo, but know when to quit. Unless you're me. I never quit.)

-Central Florida International Auto Show

-Guinness World Record for most people washing their feet (What? LOL.)

-Those NYC street fairs that all have the same crappy empanada stands

-Parades (Waste of time and resources.)

-Pretty much anywhere on New Year's Eve (Why everyone doesn't stay home and read great historical speeches to ring in the new year is beyond me.)

-Penn State undergraduate graduation

-Marathons (Never cheer for something when you could do it, which is why I will run for President until I win or die.)

-Jurassic World's opening weekend (Seems to me that the "villain" dinosaur just had the drive to go for what she wanted.)

-Republican primaries (What? LOL.)

-Hitler's speeches



P.S. You are awesome.