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Published March 12, 2010 More Info »
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Published March 12, 2010
The following was passed along by the "Shemp" pastor of my wife's church.  I attend somewhat regularly, to here guidance from a philosopher who lived ~2000 years ago and sing some songs.  For the record ,I'm with George Carlin on religion.  As always any notations in italics are my contributions.  Here is Reverend John:

NEW EXERCISE PROGRAM

The Doctor told me, I should start an exercise program. Not wanting to
harm this old body, I've devised the following:

Monday
Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper


Tuesday
Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head


Wednesday
Bend over backwards
Jump on the Band Wagon
Run around in circles


Thursday
Advise the President on how to run the country
Toot my own horn
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire


Friday
Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth
Start the ball rolling
Go over the edge


Saturday
Pick up the pieces.


Sunday
Kneel in prayer
Bow my head in thanksgiving
Uplift my hands in praise
Hug someone and encourage them.
Whew! What a workout!

The rest is about God.  Imagine that, coming from a preacher.

You may wonder what I meant by  "Shemp".  When watching the Three Stooges, you will see a few Curlies and then they would toss in a couple of Shemps.  So he is the backup preacher.  Some people like only the main guy and others like both.  Me, I am working on a Sudoku while sitting in the church.
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