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Published March 12, 2010 More Info »
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Published March 12, 2010
The following was passed along by the "Shemp" pastor of my wife's church.  I attend somewhat regularly, to here guidance from a philosopher who lived ~2000 years ago and sing some songs.  For the record ,I'm with George Carlin on religion.  As always any notations in italics are my contributions.  Here is Reverend John:NEW EXERCISE PROGRAMThe Doctor told me, I should start an exercise program. Not wanting to harm this old body, I've devised the following:MondayBeat around the bushJump to conclusionsClimb the wallsWade through the morning paperTuesdayDrag my heelsPush my luckMake mountains out of mole hillsHit the nail on the headWednesdayBend over backwardsJump on the Band WagonRun around in circlesThursdayAdvise the President on how to run the countryToot my own hornPull out all the stopsAdd fuel to the fireFridayOpen a can of wormsPut my foot in my mouthStart the ball rollingGo over the edgeSaturdayPick up the pieces.SundayKneel in prayerBow my head in thanksgivingUplift my hands in praiseHug someone and encourage them.Whew! What a workout!The rest is about God.  Imagine that, coming from a preacher.You may wonder what I meant by  "Shemp".  When watching the Three Stooges, you will see a few Curlies and then they would toss in a couple of Shemps.  So he is the backup preacher.  Some people like only the main guy and others like both.  Me, I am working on a Sudoku while sitting in the church.