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July 30, 2012

Seventeen years after he publicly announced his wishes and life-plan in his hit single "I Wish," how has rapper Skee-Lo fared? Is he, by now, a little bit taller? A baller?

Screen_Shot_2012-08-09_at_12.44.05_PM.pngIn the summer of 1995, Skee-Lo released his very enjoyable hit rapping song “I Wish.” It’s right up there with “Baby Got Back” in terms of pop rap songs that ugly white suburban children (such is the case) quickly memorized. So how is it going for Skee-Lo? Has he achieved the many life and personal goals he so ambitiously and publicly set out for himself in “I Wish”?

Is Skee-Lo a little bit taller, specifically, six-foot-nine?

No. In 1995, Skee-Lo measured a reported five-foot-eight. He remains roughly that height today, possibly negligibly less due to aging.

Is Skee-Lo a baller?

No. A search of the NBA player database yielded zero results under both “Skee-Lo” and Skee-Lo’s real name “Antoine Roundtree.”

Has Skee-Lo attained a girl who looked good, with whom he makes regular, welcome phone contact?

Yes! While he no longer has to contend with hoodrats, he has been happily married for several years.

If so, is this girl Leoshi, who at the time of “I Wish” was both “fine,” and not acquainted with Skee-Lo?

Sort of. He is not married to Leoshi, but she is still fine, if at the very least, to Skee-Lo, which is all that matters. As they are married, it’s presumed that Skee-Lo has met his wife (who is a woman named Stacy).

Is Skee-Lo in possession of a rabbit in a hat with a bat?

I don’t know what that means.

Has Skee-Lo acquired a ‘64 Impala?

No. Skee-Lo made a small fortune off of the success of “I Wish,” a top 20 hit. He better damn well have bought himself a ‘64 Impala by now, as they are relatively inexpensive (they’re routinely on eBay for less than $3,000) and not at all rare. It’s not like we’re talking about a DeLorean here. Skee-Lo set an awkwardly modest goal here; he might as well have wished for a ‘97 Taurus or a VHS copy of City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly’s Gold.

Is Skee-Lo still living in a city that's the size of a box, wherein nobody knows his name?

Yes and no. He lives in the Los Angeles metropolitan area, the second-largest population center in the United States. He most certainly gets stopped all the time by jackasses in their 30s who scream out "SKEE-LOOO!" and say "I wish I was a little bit taller..." to him. So there's that.

Is everyday a Friday?

No. The Western world still follows the standard seven-day, 52-week Gregorian calendar.

Is it legal to speed on the highway?

Yes. Speed laws on interstate highways have been widely relaxed since 1995, with speed limits being bumped up to 70 mph or more in many western states, notably Montana. That's the same year as the release of "I Wish," so its possible that Skee-Lo had a direct effect on this development.

Has Skee-Lo named his children “ghetto names,” e.g. Little Mookie, or Big Al?

No. Skee-Lo has two daughters. Neither are named Little Mookie.