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Published July 29, 2009 More Info »
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Published July 29, 2009
Most people are afraid of things like heights or death ( Im looking forward to that long sleep) but my quirky self is afraid of a lot of weird things.

1) Mouse traps

  I dont think for myself there is a scarier moment then the seconds before and after you are setting a mouse trap.  It never sets on the first try.  SNAP!!! Piece of cheese goes flying (mouse hiding behind the winter tires laughing).  This is my worst fear.


2) Dreaming of Peeing

Am I the only one who has had that wonderfully warm dream of actually peeing and then wake up mid stream stinking of asparagus and wet unchanged sheets? AND I was sober!!!!! Now I take 2-3 pees a night in fear of soaking myself again.  Rubber sheets and air tight man panties are on order (in coral with T-Back)

3) Taking the hook out of the mouth of a catfish

I have had a 12 foot python, iguanas, piranahs, Florida gars (probably the craziest fish ever) and they all excited me.  BUT when I am fishing, there is no worse feeling then pulling in a disgusting catfish. Now we dont catch the big cats like PHUKUHP would catch down south (Let me know if you would like me to remove you from this blog, but ive seen some of your fish pics and WOW!!!) but when I look at the ugly mug on these fish and those long whiskers.... I just want to kick the hook out of thier mouths. 

4) Getting B.O

18 rips of Old Spice under each armpit.  I will deal with the burn to smell like a fallen peach covered in fresh morning dew.

5) Drunk Old Ladies Bowling

They are aggressive and perverted. They know what they want.  Can usually be seeen with medium to large fanny packs (sometimes with water bottle refreshment station on the side) and very fitted cotton pants usually in a robin egg blue or young flamingo pink.  The pants are usually about 2 inches above the ankle, also known as Billy Pants. These ladies are worse then cougars or silverbacks and 3 times as bold.

6) Canada Geese

Lovely to look at but mean as hell.  Get close too these guys and you will be running like a looney in the bin to avoid his dixie cup of meds. They also release a slick green mess every 4 minutes. (its a fact, look it up, or check out the parking lot of my work, or the bottom of my shoes)

7) Growing Up

Im actually not afraid of this at all, Stay young everyone.  Age is just a number, but grey hair is a bitch!

Have a fun day friends, thanks for stopping by!

Jeff
 
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