ALERT! With Beck, Palin, and their loyal followers concentrated in DC for the past few hours, there was no-one left to protect the rest of the country. Obama's scary jackbooted thugs broke into every business and home in America, stole our precious precious Norman Rockwell-like values, small businesses, and overpriced novelty gold coins, and replaced them with the crazy prophesized sci-fi fascist nightmare. Oh what fools we were to mock. It happened over the course of two hours! How could we have let our guard down? I have to pay taxes now every time I take a nap or fart and the government provides welfare for the poor to nap and fart for free! What happened? Why did you forsake us Beck and Palin?
Oh woe unto us! Ironically, Washington D.C. is the only free zone left in what was once this great country. Stay strong oh brothers and sisters, and stay entrenched in the Lincoln Memorial. If you maintain the barricades, I have faith that at 1700 hours, operation MightyMorphin' RoboLincoln will be a go. We can win this!!!
I have seen the footage that the Verizon-Google Merged Internet Provider has shown for a nominal fee, federal regulations be damned! Praise be to Beck, riding high atop MightyMorphin' RoboLincoln, blasting the enemies of freedom with his mighty red, white and blue Americana Rays (the coherent light of which smells like fresh cooked turkey and warm apple pay). We shall fight them in the streets! We shall fight them in the malls! We shall fight them in the unregulated marketplace! Praise be to Beck!