OBAMA AND ROMNEY AGREE TO POSTPONE U.S. ELECTION INDEFINITELY TO FOCUS ON FUNDRAISING FULL-TIME
(WASHINGTON) – In an unprecedented move, never before seen in the entire history of US politics, both President Barack Obama and would-be successor Mitt Romney have decided to postpone their runs for the White House and focus on raising money full-time.
Said President Obama; “In today’s political climate, any time the two parties can agree on anything is a blessing. And both Mr. Romney and myself agree on this; at the moment we’re raking it in and are in no hurry for this to end any time soon.”
Mr. Obama; “And do you know how much the President actually makes? It’s a joke! And for what? Going back to being accused of being a non-citizen and being shit all over because I try to get poor people to the doctor? Let Biden deal with that shit.”
Romney, a dyed-in-the-wool businessman sees the move as pragmatic business management. “It’s just eliminating the cumbersome and expensive ‘Government’ from what is obviously a money-making machine.” Said Governor Romney. “That’s Republican to the core.”
Continued Romney; “I can’t believe it took me this long to figure this out. Are you kidding? If I can can raise $35M in June alone, imagine what I could raise in one year, or ten years. Let Democracy reign!”
“The election? Oh yeah. I suppose America will finally get around to it.” Said Mr Obama “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a barbecue at Tim Robbins’ place to attend to the tune of $15,000 a plate. God bless America.”
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