1. Don’t let North Korea do anything. No but seriously… Anything.
This is good for 10 ‘Murican points.
2. Deep fry everything. No but seriously… everything.
And if you can add bacon to the mix you ‘Murican points double.
3. Purposefully learn nothing about geography. I’m serious now… nothing.
‘Murican points earned: 12
4. Understand that this is how George Washington operated. Listen… There’s no time to doubt it. Just accept.
Once accepted, ‘Murican points = 90
5. And finally this. Everything… About. This.
‘Murican points earned: infinity.