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6Funny
2Die
135
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July 25, 2011
Published
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A bunch of folks have been asking me how I met my first wife. They probably think we met online since that's how I choose to meet everyone nowadays. But no, we met before anyone even knew that the internet existed.

Well it was a day like most days, I guess. I decided to sit in the back of the bus next to Steve Jammer and the popular kids. When I sat, I could see Steve had the floor and of course, all the other kids were laughing (as usual). Now, I didn’t know what Steve said, but I laughed my hardest so Steve could see that I liked his joke the best. Well, Steve saw me laughing and he got up and sat next to me while all the other kids watched. He said, “Hey, George. Why don’t you hold your tongue and say, My dad works on a pirate ship.” Oh, I knew it was a lie! My dad had been at McDonnell Douglas his whole life! But I played along. I was nervous, I was a kid, I had attention for the first time in my life and hey, it was Steve Jammer for crying out loud, you know?

So, I did it. I pinched my tongue and tried my hardest to say it.

Well, I end up saying what sounded like, “My dad works on a pile of shit!” Which, is not true at all and is even more humiliating and ridiculous than him working on a pirate ship! I was tricked (I didn't want to say that!). The back of the bus erupted in laughter as Steve slapped fives with all his fans. I was still a fan so I five'd him too, but after all the excitement, all I could think about was how I was going to salvage my old man’s image.

When my stop came, I walked off the bus with my head down when I felt a tap on the shoulder. It was Jenny MacDonald. She said, “Pile of shit, huh? Your dad sounds pretty cool.” He wasn't really that cool, but before I could tell her the truth, she invited me to her house for dinner. She introduced me to her family and we ate like kings.

And well, that’s the day I met my future wife (Jenny’s sister Barbara).

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