Pros of being a father:
- Kids make great slaves and love to fetch beers.
- Daughters think you walk on water, even if you sink.
- You're a hero to your son, even if you've never slayed a dragon.
- Seeing "pride" on your kid's face makes you feel like it's your own.
- Get lots of credit for teaching easy sh*t: tying shoes, throw a baseball, ride a bike, belch the A,B,C's, etc.
- Brag about how awesome your kids are and show them off
- Kids love cookies & ice cream for breakfast and understand why mom doesn't need to know.
- You get to bang their mother (or at least you got to when she was still hot.)
- Watching kids score goals, hit homers, make plays, and earn awards never, ever gets old.
- Get to watch old movies you used to love and share them with someone you love.
- Create new Metallica fans.
- Children don't let you forget how important it is to play no matter how old you feel.
- Easy to hold under a blanket after you let a massive fart.
- Lots and lots of hugs.
- Being called Daddy has the same sincerity as someone saying "Your Royal Majesty..."
- Keeping current with who's cool, and who's not.
- Some of your kid's friends will have smokin' hot moms.
- Turning tears into smiles.
- Seeing your kids do something you taught them perfectly.
- Easy to kick ass at Monopoly cause kids will take any deal, no matter how stupid it is.
- Chicks don't find many things sexier than a good father.
- Your kids grow up.
I sure as hell hope I taught them well.
Happy Father's Day to all the great Dad's in the world including my own.