5. Do NOT go into that dance circle. You can't breakdance. You're just drunk.
4. If you get frisky on our dance floor, we will dance in your bedroom. I'm dead serious about this one.
3. Guys? Stay on the ground. Under no circumstance should you be dancing on a stage, bar, or table. And ladies? A little modesty please. Remember the undergarments.
2. Take care of your business before hitting the club. Bathroom stalls at bars should serve as only one thing: a solution to #4.
1. No one likes a sloppy drunk. Correction: no one like a sloppy drunk with their shirt on. Act accordingly.