“Praise the Lord,” it’s Sunday morning and the spanking new Delhi Tim Horton’s drive through is up and running. As a member in good standing of the “Church of Jimmy Buffett”(Wasting away in. . .) my Sabbath morning routine has been to grab coffee and a paper in town, then chill as the rest of the family continues their sojourn into dreamland. But there has been a hitch, given that the Tim Horton’s Donut Shop in Delhi did not have a drive through until this very day. Imagine that, my Canadian brothers and sisters, a Tim’s WITHOUT A DRIVE THROUGH!
In the past, it was either go to Delhi and wait in enormous lines, truck off to Simcoe (which would be 45 min round trip) or brew a terrible batch of oil sludge in the coffee maker here in the homestead. Image the stir when the residents of this small town found out that Tim’s was about to build a new facility –drive through included. There were more pick up trucks in town than might be observed at watermelon seed spittin’ contest in West Virginia.
No more standing in line while Grandma organizes her change or payment down to the penny. (How friggin’ deep is that change purse!)
No foot tapping while a 400 pound big boned women selects her 12 donuts. “I’ll have one of those. . .um. . .what are those ones called?. . .um, better put one back and give me two apple fritters!”
No more watching the town character weave in and out of the parked cars looking for discarded cigarette butts!
No more sighs, huffs or puffs whilst the Timmy staff runs into one another behind the counter trying to accommodate the throngs of desperate coffee addicts lined up out the door.
No more strange dudes talking to you in the lineup, many of whom make Charles Manson look like Will Ferrell.
“Hey Buddy, waz you at the bust up last night down at the hotel? You look a bit familiar!” Under my breath, I mumble, “No, dog breath, I prefer to hang out with my own species!” To which he responds, “Oh, ya, right on, dude!”
Best of all!
NO MORE FREAKIN’WAITING FOR MY MORNING COFFEE UNTIL THE COWS COME HOME!
And, make no mistake; this drive though is one mother of a drive through, having space for at least 40 vehicles. People are driving into town from miles around to see this edifice to caffeine. I suspect a front page spread will appear in the Delhi News Record next Tuesday. “Residents Turn Out in Droves”, the banner will declare.
Yes, our little hick town has become a chic town. But, you’d have to be a Canadian to really appreciate how happy all of us are. Just to put it into perspective for you Americans –imagine a McDonalds without a drive through lane. Standing in line with all of those screaming kids and agitated families could make someone go postal!