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March 31, 2013

A review of the movie G.I. Joe: Retaliation






MOVE REVIEW OF: G.I. Joe: Retaliation
 I saw G.I. Joe: Retaliation last night and I never been more tricked by a movie this much before. If I wrote this review right after I left I would have gave it 3 or 2 1/2 stars but now that I think about it more it was pretty bad.

 It seems like they got the idea for this movie by watching kids play with G.I Joe for 2 hours. I think they only reason they killed off Channing Tatum was cause they already reached their limit of bad actors allowed in one movie. But sadly the death if Magic Mike is only the start of the problems for this "movie".

  After the Cobra killed Duke and a lot of the Joe. It is up to Roadblock (Rock), Some bitch and some random dude who I don't give 2 shits about to save earth I guess. Cause for some reason the Cobras want to nuke earth or something? Oh and I forgot Cobra kidnapped the president and replaced with their own look alike president. Who the G.I Joe figured out was fake cause he stopped saying soda and started saying pop. Who needs D.N.A when you got can just solve cases by the way people hold their hands.
 So the Roadblock runs into Joe himself played by John Mcclane and from there this movie does from G.I Joe 2 to Fast And Furious meets Red.
 I should point out that the one and only good part of the movie is the mountain scene. That shit was good. I am not sure how much those red ninjas are getting paid but I am sure it is not enough for jumping off mountains. I wondering how I can get a job for Cobra it looks pretty fun.....besides that whole falling to your death part.
 So blah blah blah......the fake Cobra President tricks the other countries into getting rid of their nukes only to use his new machine called Zeus to start blowing up their homelands. London gets it pretty bad. So blah blah blah Cobra Commander gets away and Roadblock saves the day by pressing the override button on Zeus which for some reason is also the self destruct button. That really seems like a big design flaw. So yea everyone is happy besides London cause they were all killed 14 times over.
 The thing that that made me have a nightmare last night was the fact that they are going to make a 3rd one and I am going to have to watch it. I guess it will be worth it to see how they kill The Rock off in the next one that way they can make more screen time for The Miz!!!!!!!!

 Like I said was thinking this was a 3 or a 2 1/2 star movie but now the most I can give it is:


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