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April 14, 2010


Like every other actor in LA I work in the food service industry.* ** Despite most diners opinion of me I'm actually a human being. I have college degree,a life outside of the restaurant ,and my  goals  do not include becoming the worlds greatest server.You give me 20% and I'll give you about 50%.Its a good deal.
Here is an actual conversation I had with a woman who came into the restaurant I work at. No exaggeration.

Me: Hi! How are you this evening?
Lives at home w/cats lady : MY friend made a reservation.
Me: Great...Here it is.She isn't here yet but I let me go ahead and give you a seat.
I walk over to a table
Hasn't washed her elastic pants since 1985 lady: "You're really going to give me this aweful table? This is the worst table in the restaurant.I don't want to sit here.I don't want to sit in the kitchen. I want to sit over there in the corner."

I will say right now that nothing annoys me more than  rude people who bitch about where they sit when they don't state a preferance.  I will happily oblige if you politely request a table. I am not a mind reader or a plebeian,please don't treat me as such!

Me:(Yes,Well that is where you belong.In a dark corner where you can be hidden from the rest of society) "Oh,Ok.No problem.Right this way."

I take her over to the table in the corner.

(Beastly) Lady: "Ugggh I don't want to sit here. I want THAT table! "

I take her over to THAT table to calm the beast.

Me:" Ok,sure. Great.Here you are. I hope you..."
Lady: (cutting me off)" Did you go to school for this?To seat people at the worst possible tables?YOu must have!"

Me: (Thoughts running through my head include. No,I went to school for theater and now I have to deal with people like you. Wow,thank you for reminding me that I did NOT in fact go to serving school. or Did YOU go to school for being a miserable bitch?)
. I respond through my fakest smile

"Why,Yes That is actually what my degree is in! That's why they pay me the big bucks here so,that I can seat people at the worst possible tables"

She stares at me blankly.I don't think she was expecting a response. She replies

"Well Obviously"

Thank you lady with boobs down to your vagina you made my top 5 list of bitchy diners.Thank you for taking your miserable life out on me. Cheers.Enjoy your dinner!

*I will say I am grateful for my job.In this economy I'm blessed to be going to work and making money.
** I will also put out there that I would like to start making money off acting