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July 26, 2017

Some reasonable guesses

Tom Hardy seems to only take roles where he can spend an entire movie with some kind of mask covering the lower half of his face. What’s going on? Here are 10 reasonable guesses.

1. He’s not allowed to take his orthodontic headgear off for a few years.

2. It’s a temporary solution while Christopher Nolan figures out the best way to tell him he has bad breath.

3. He has that condition where your lips periodically fall off without warning.

4. He has no mouth, and it’s just so expensive to CG one in.

5. It’s like that ghost story about the woman with the ribbon around her neck, but weirder.

6. Because of a word tattooed on his teeth that is even too offensive to print here.

7. He’s embarrassed about his tongues.

8. Scared of bird flu.

9. He got so into the Bane role that he actually gave himself the same medical condition.

10. He’s in that religion where your soul is always trying to jump out of your mouth.