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October 12, 2012

Hollywood Leek Lyric decoder, Rachel Alvarez, explains why One Direction just wants to get their Ds wet.

LYRICS DECODED: One Direction Just Wants to SCREW!


rachel-alverezI was driving along in my VW Rabbit when the new One Direction song, “Live While We’re Young,” came on the radio. I was instantly reminded of being a sixteen in a training bra again, and Brian Fletcher saying anything he could to get into my cotton underbritches.

Eventually I grew up to learn that Brian and most men are full of malarky. But most of you 1Dfans are too young to know better. So I’ll tell you what these little perverts are really saying.


“Hey girl I’m waiting on ya, I’m waiting on ya.”

What are you waiting for? And why do you keep trying to look down my shirt when I bend over?

“Come on and let me sneak you out.”

I think you mean “sneak it in” after you’ve been giving me vodka tonics for six hours at a party in your cousin’s basement.

“And have a celebration, a celebration.”

Trust me, there will be nothing to celebrate after this.

“The music up, the windows down.”

Why? Are you worried your friends will find out about me?

“Yeah, we’ll be doing what we do.”

Sex? I think you’re talking about sex, but you’re being vague.

“Just pretending that we’re cool.”

So this means you’re not going to call me later? No pressure. I’m just giving you something that I can never get back!!!

“And we know it too.”

What is “IT”???!!!

“Yeah, we’ll be doing what we do.”

Despite the fact that I told you to slow down, my needs seem to be secondary.

“Just pretending that we’re cool tonight.”

I know what “cool” means…I let you plow me and I spend the next three years unsure if an orgasm is possible during intercourse.

It goes on and on like this. At least when women are objectified in hip-hop they don’t try to hide it. They respect me as a woman. They don’t sweetly lull me into the back of a Chevy Cavalier and then whip out their cock…Brian.