Bumgarner? He pitched 7 Innings ‘er!
San Francisco Giants pitcher Madison Bumgarner led his team to a 7-1 win over the Kansas City Royals in the first game of the World Series (source). After an entire year without winning the title, this marks the first step in finally bringing the World Series trophy back to the wealthiest, most privileged part of the country.
Smooth jazz maestro Kenny G has stirred up controversy by attending the Hong Kong pro-democracy protests (source). This may be the only time in history where the words “Kenny G” and “stirred up controversy” will ever appear in the same sentence.
Peer Pressure to Jihad:
Three teenage girls from Denver skipped class and attempted to join ISIS this week (source). Now that pot is legal in Colorado, teens have really had to step up their rebellion game.
People sure do care about the physical appearances of celebrities:
After online forums were abuzz yesterday with photos of actress Renee Zellweger looking strikingly different than when she was last in the public eye, Zellweger responded today, “I’m glad folks think I look different! I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows” (source). Meanwhile the real Renee Zellweger is still tied up in a basement somewhere, hopeful that we are on our way to rescue her soon.
Hopefully John Oliver will do a piece on this so something will actually be done about it:
The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that 7.8 million U.S. vehicles have faulty airbags that could explode instead of inflate upon impact (source). The vehicle manufacturers apologized, and pledged that all future models would change the name from “airbags” to “explodebags.”