(AP PRESS) Both scientists and science fiction fans were excited and alamed over the announcement of the " Accidental Invisible Man". The drama unfolded last Wednesday when an unidentified mentally challenged man was grooming himself while preparing for a class trip to the petting zoo. Dr Akman Zwanzia issued a statement earlier today stating " As far as we can tell. the man was rummaging through his mothers medicine cabinet looking for some sort of cream to conceal his adult acne when he grabbed the wrong jar. He applied the cream to his face and arms. Several hours later a student on the bus reported that while licking a window, he observed that his classmates " facie was gone" and notified the chaparone. When the chaparone investigated the students claim she found that indeed, the mans face had vanished. The bus was detored to this facility where he was evaluated." A fevor soon swept through the small town as investigators swarmed the mans house. Agents from the FBI, NSA,CIA and FDA were seen carrying out bags of what appeared to be toiletries and gay pornographic paraphenalia. An unnamed source within Homeland Security revealled the agencys concern " If this mystery cream actually exists, this could be a greater threat to our nations security than pale skin mexicans". By 5 PM the mystery was solved and an anxious crowd of onlookers, government officials and retardation advocates assembled outside the hospital for a late day press confrence. Dr. Zwanzia explained " We have accertained, through the help of the Boston Branch of the FBI crime lab, that the individual applied his mothers anal bleaching cream to his face and arms in order to, and I quote ' be like Casper', end quote".
The Doctor the deferred and questions to Agent Frank Parker of the FDA's New York field office. When asked if the product will be recalled the agent was quick to reassure the crowd " After extensive testing we have determined that the reaction that took place is an isolated incident and the cream poses no threat to the general public." When pressed by CNN's Wolf Blitzer questioning why the public is not at risk and why this particular person reacted to the cream in such a way the agent simply explained " because this guy IS a fucking asshole."
Security footage taken at the boys home was released by authorities shorty after the press confrence.