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December 09, 2014
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Gas is cheap. The price for a gallon at the pump is down more than $1 since May, with prices reaching the lowest they've been in five years. With prices this cheap, you'd be a fool to only be buying gas to power your non-electric car. Here are some frugal-tastic ideas to help you take advantage of these historically low petrol prices.

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Gas is cheap. The price for a gallon at the pump is down more than $1 since May, with prices reaching a five year low. With prices this cheap, you’d be a fool to only be buying gas to power your non-electric car. Here are some frugal-tastic ideas to help you take advantage of these historically low petrol prices.


  • Pour it into your Brita pitcher, which should turn it into drinkable water.
  • Instead of coal, stuff the stockings of the naughty children in your family with pure crude.
  • Grab $20 from the ATM and pick yourself up a Texaco franchise.
  • Replace that rancid shit smell in your bathroom with a nice gasoline aroma.
  • Use it to write secret messages that can only be revealed by setting the paper on fire.
  • Swirl it in your mouth, as gasoline offers the exact same health benefits as coconut oil (zero).
  • All the other little twerps will use vinegar and baking soda for their science fair volcanoes. Not your cool-ass kid.
  • Send a gallon of gasoline over to a sexy lady you see at the pumps. She’ll get the message.
  • Carry a leaky container of gasoline in your hand at all times until you finally decide to start a really long fire.
  • Dab a little behind the ears and you’ll finally earn your father’s respect.
  • Finally kill all those ants. Fucking ants think they can run MY house? Uh-uh.
  • Want to spice up your relationship? Fill up your water bed with gasoline, light up a tiki torch for you and your partner, and then have Danger Sex.
  • Now you can contribute ass, grass AND gas when hitching rides in groovy 1970s vans.
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