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March 13, 2011

A hilarious pornupcopia of gross unsexiness.

Title: Infatuation Felching
About: Trina Tarbox and her ex boyfriend Dion Moustash

We all knew it'd come to this, an innocent idea, some suspicious lube, a
 confused virgin and a tired asshole- we just never expected it to occur
 so early on in the relationship.

Early afternoon, Dion Moustash (a student and part-time petrolium
 slips some Flinstone's Vitamins into his
 girlfriend, Trina Tarbox's, bottled water.  He knows a healthy mind
 and body are vital to what he has planned for the evening.  His
 perverted stare hides behind his vogue optical glasses and Trina
 dismisses his demented smile, wandering hands and pulsating pocket as
 a nervous twitch.
 After a sexually stimulating game of sharades and a 40 oz. of
 wine, Trina's eyes grow heavy and her sense of reality deteriorates.
 While she curls up in his bed and her mind exits the night, Dion is
 in a dark room gathering provisions for his nightime fantasy. He
 eventually joins her and emptys any debris remaining in his bowels
 into her unsuspecting mouth. He rubs his sleeping beauty down with a
 home-made lubricant, a basic recipe containing alfalfa sprouts and
 vagisil.  Then, with grace and obvious pride, he pulls out his "Long
 Sword", a 13 foot solid cement tube stripped from a playground in
 Hantsport.  After inserting it into his asshole with impressive ease
 he points the unoccupied end towards his naive girlfriend.  Although
 Brian was in fact a deranged nympho, he was also very clever (hense
 the glasses) and lured Trina into the tube where she craweled
 aimlessly, unaware of the disturbing transition from cold rock to
 rancid flesh.
 No one knows if she could hear Dion's child-like squeals and
 erotic moans- she was lost in oblivion while his asshole tingled and
 twitched  as it never had before. Time stands still when your clawing
 your boyfriends asshole from the outside-in, and before she knew it,
 there was a "slip!" and a "pop!" - and it was over.  She rolled out of
 the periodic septic tank and began spewing up a horrific sewage like
 serum with an equally offensive smell. Dion collasped, a smelly sort
 of resin creeping from his anus, and he got up (unaffected by the
 disconcerting event) and took one last look at Trina Tarbox-
 another victem of his chronic felching.

 Story #2
 ABout:  Jean Bremner and ex boyfriend James

 It was early sunday morning, Jean Bremner is in the middle of an
 erotic dream concerning her, a bar stool and the union jack.  As she
 slips out of her midnight fantasy, a carrot is slipping out of her
 own "midnight mass"- and unruly concoction of clitoris and hair.  She
 gets up slowly and arches her back to perform an unattractive yawn.
 Undeterred by the musty mess of yellow serum left to dissolve in her
 bed sheets, she retreives the carrot, which has derteriorated
 signifigently from an unidentified STD lurking in her cervex.  She
 takes a munch, and heads outside.

 It's Christmas in Kentucky and Jean is picking some Holly
 from the branches behind her house.  She has positioned herself so
 that one of the virgin twigs is lodged 14 and a half  inches into her
 asshole. Fordging for food is always more pleasurable when your being
 probed anally, and the Bremner's were notorious for enjoying cheap
 thrills.  After 163 orgasms achieved of a stick which averaged about
 the same circumference as a straw, Jean is more intrigued rather
 than tired and returns inside where a bowl of low fat popcorn and
 plump cranberries await.

 Many classes of Yoga and Taibo have resulted in Jean's new
 found contortionist abilities and she pulls herself into a human
 pretzel before she plucks a needle from her pussy and gets to work.

 An hour later she finds herself in a nasty disposition.  The
 door bell rings and James Proudfoot, a newfoundlander with a substantial
 amount of ball and cock, enters the house.  Jean spots him and
 climbs upon the kitchen counter.  His potent penis aroma causes her
 anus to twitch and it is then she unvails her trophy. Incredible.
 Jean has managed to create a delisciously dirty snack, popped corn
 and cranned berries weaved throughout her coarse pubic mound.  Her
 festive vagina puts a twinkle in James' eye as dehydration and
 desire morph together and he begins to foam at the mouth.

 Jean lifts her legs one at a time and performs and
 acrobatic ritual, combing the "A" skip and movements of an early
 primate.  James is swaying back and forth, moving his head wildly and
 farting like nobodies business.

 Jean finally takes control of the situation and encourages
 James to munch her christmas cunt.  As soon as all the popcorn ,
 cranberries and 75% of her pubic hair has been devoured, James'
 stomach is turning and Jean is spurting a rancid heterogeneous
 mixture that would send chills down any mans spine.

 The fun is over, Jean and the Swiffer wet jet are pacing
 the floor, removing any debris or evidence of their naughty naked
 nightmare.  She places the cleaning equipment back in the
 closet and heads to bed. Maybe to dream again, maybe to gain some
 insight of what next year will bring, high hopes- for a very hairy