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May 02, 2011

Senior Bob has gotten a little obsessive about things lately

How was my weekend?  It was awful.  It was either too hot or too cold, the traffic was bad, and there were too many Mexicans everywhere.

On Friday my wife and I went to the movies but it was too hot when I got in the car and the traffic on the way there was terrible.  When we got there the movie theater was too cold and the movie had too many Mexicans in it, and all the scenes looked like the actors were too hot and there was a chase scene with really bad traffic. 

When we got home it the house wasn't hot enough or cold enough and I couldn't check the traffic report on the television because all the Mexican news anchors could barely speak English.  I made some soup that was too spicy which reminded me of Mexico and how terrible the traffic must be down there in that hot weather.

Saturday morning I made some coffee that was too hot then I let it sit until it got too cold.  I went outside to get the paper and all these Mexicans were driving around like dingbats and I think one of them caused a traffic jam.  I sat outside and drank my cold coffee in the blazing hot sun while reading the traffic reports in the paper.  Then I got to mowing the lawn but it was too hot out so I hired a Mexican to mow my lawn but he wasn't going fast enough so I hired two more until there was too much lawn mower traffic on my lawn and the lawn mowers started over heating.

On Sunday I got up early to avoid traffic on the way to Church but my wife kept turning on the air conditioning which was too cold and it was too loud so I couldn't hear what channel the traffic report was on on the radio.  I eventually turned the air conditioning off to hear the radio and found out that I was on the damn Mexican station, and by that time the car had gotten too hot already.

What did I learn?  Between every car on the road there is air that is either too hot or too cold that is getting breathed by Mexicans, I reckon. 

- Senior Bob