This evening, we will all experience a “leap second,” a small mathematical adjustment that gives us one extra second this evening so that our annual trip around the sun matches up with the atomic clocks we use to specifically measure time. So, what should you do with your extra second? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Have very unsatisfying sex
  • One very slow blink or three very fast blinks
  • Whisper “I love you” to a chicken mole taco
  • Get the worst tattoo of all time
  • Not die
  • Catch up on one scandalous second of Ru Paul’s Drag Race. Mee-ow!
  • Do half a jumping jack (jack part)
  • Murder one person—it’s legal, like in The Purge (the gay marriage decision overshadowed this particular SCOTUS case)!
  • Look up at the moon and think about where your real dad is and what he’s doing right at that very second
  • Correct someone’s grammar under your breath
  • Wink at a pigeon
  • Die
  • Jump up in the air, dislodging yourself from the Time Stream and live forever between realities as a wraith—a miserable, suffering specter, neither alive nor dead
  • Inhale a lightning bug (note: does not make ears, eyes and mouth glow from inside of skull)
  • Consider your worst regret
  • Read 1.5 items from this list
  • Casually light an M-80 inside a Michelin Three-Star restaurant
  • Solve as much of a Rubix Cube as you would if you had 18 hours
  • Think about where you’d hide an illegally trafficked white rhino, if you absolutely had to
  • Put your fist through a wall to show everyone you’re a big man
  • Reflect upon your decision to jump
  • Waste it, just like all the others
  • Scream “I matter!” into a pillow
  • Abandon a dream
  • I dunno, man. Your second, your rules
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