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Ahead of this year’s April Fools’ Day, I had an idea for a small prank wherein I would try to convince those actively involved in the streetwear scene that the uber-hot New York City-based clothing company Supreme had done a collabo (an exclusive article or line of clothing that a label like Supreme will design with a bigger, well-established brand such as Nike or North Face) with Vibram FiveFingers, those disgusting running toe-shoe things, which are often worn by people with strong opinions about gut flora — essentially an item that would be anathema to those into cutting-edge fashion, and perhaps something that would make those who blindly worship at the altar of modern urban style look foolish. Well, more foolish, I guess.

So, I had our resident Photoshop master Abby make the above image, and then contacted a friend at Complex Magazine. Turns out, they were more than happy to help out with a post about the fictional footwear.

It went pretty well. Here is the tweet complex sent out, and some of the responses to the shoes:

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However, perhaps more interesting was some of the nomenclature and cultural phenomena I learned about while putting all this together — chief among these being FUCCBOIS. Fuccboi is a term I had heard before, but not really given much thought to. However, from what I’ve been able to gather this week, it seems to be a sliding-scale pejorative used in the world of street wear and urban fashion, i.e., a term one would never apply to oneself, but would use liberally about others, particularly if one is insecure about one’s own fuccboi status.

Here is handy article about several varieties of fuccboi, again from Complex, but really, it only scratches the surface of what a fuccboi truly is. Being a fuccboi, you see, is a paradox. If you make any effort to ascertain what the essence of a fuccboi is, you yourself are a fuccboi.

So, the main thing I learned is that, purely by dint of having researched fuccbois, I am almost certainly a fuccboi of some variety. Probably a Research Fuccboi.

I also inadvertently learned the term “thirst trap” in all this somehow, which is when a sexy person, usually a sexy woman, posts a provocative image of him/herself to social media, thus creating a “trap” for people’s “thirst” (horniness). I don’t really care or have time to learn about how this figures into all the collabo and fuccboi bullshit, but New York Magazine did a whole article about it, so knock yourself out.

Ultimately, I’ve accepted that the real prank here was on myself, in terms of pointing out how old and out of touch I am. Peace out, fuccbois.

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