Full Credits

Stats & Data

1,207Funny
328Die
223,741
Views
July 16, 2015
Published
Description

Amy Schumer appeared on the cover of GQ's in a throwback to Princess Leia's slave costume. Is it the greatest nerd porn of all time?

Amy Schumer appeared on the cover of GQ in a Princess Leia slave costume sucking on a golden C-3PO digit. As ten thousand geeks splooged at once, it raises the question: is Amy Schumer’s Princess Leia slave cosplay the best nerd porn of all time?

GQcover.jpg

via GQ

It seems like quite possibly yes. More importantly, Amy is on the cover for GQ’s comedy issue because Amy is one of the funniest players in the comedy game right now. Case in point, within the covers she fellates a lightsaber:

Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 12.47.03 PM.png

via GQ

And like any good comedian, she gives a nod to her vaudevillian heritage with a high kicking chorus line of Stormtroopers:

Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 12.47.21 PM.png

But the question remains: while this is excellent nerd porn, is it the best nerd porn? Let’s consider some other possibilities.


Contenders For The Best Nerd Porn Of All Time


Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 12.48.02 PM.png

Original Princess Leia

Obviously, we have to include original Princess Leia on this list. And while her scantily clad slave costume is the go to cosplay when nerds are trying to be sexy, let’s not forget that Carrie Fischer is a badass:

Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 12.48.20 PM.png

Using your perceived weakness to slay the bully keeping you down? Now that is some very sexy nerd porn.


Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 12.49.55 PM.png

Seven Of Nine

Seven of Nine is a borg drone who joins the Federation in the television series Star Trek: Voyager. I’m not a Trekker myself, but my understanding amongst my sci-fi friends is that Seven of Nine is sort of the epitome of nerd porn. And based on all of the erotic fan fic I diligently didn’t click on when searching for the Wikipedia article about her, that seems to be the case. Smart as a robot and sexy as a borg? What’s not to like!


Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 12.50.45 PM.png

Daenerys Targaryen, friends call her “Dany”

We’ve covered our sci-fi bases, so let’s turn to fantasy. At the moment, the biggest fantasy fantasy fans have involve the many named Khaleesi, Queen Daenerys of House Targaryen, First of Her Name, Mother of Dragons. Dany walked into a burning fire with some stones and walked out not-dead and carrying dragons, so she is the shit as far as most nerds are concerned. However, as readers of the books know, Dany starts the series at the age of 15. So, not cool dudes. This nerd porn is officially disqualified from the list. But before we officially strike it from the record, take a look at this very passionate oil painting that we found online (all credit goes to the signature in the bottom right hand corner):

Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 12.50.53 PM.png

Any Photograph From The Hubble Telescope

Nerds love space and magnification, so you know that these fucking sweet ass pics from the Hubble telescope are possible contenders for the best nerd porn out there:

Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 1.16.37 PM.png
Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 1.15.45 PM.png
Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 1.17.13 PM.png

Winner: The Pythagorean Theorem

When all things are said and done, nothing beats the sexy elegance of math in the nerd universe. Just check out this lil’ beauty here:

Screen Shot 2015-07-16 at 1.19.05 PM.png

So there you have it. The winner goes to math. But let’s not forget who the real winners are: the throbbing erections of all you geeks skipping the words of this article.

Advertisement