THE TOP 10 WAYS TO PISS OF RICK PERRY, CHRISTMAS STYLE!

10. Place an extra tax on egg nog. 

9. Advocate to overrun the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" rule for mall santas. 

8. Seduce him. Ask if it's alright to light a few candles to set the mood. Then pull out a menorah. 

7. Point out that Prancer, Dancer, and a lot of the other reindeer have pretty gay names. 

6. Argue that if we keep up the death penalty, we're going to have a lot of advice-giving ghosts flying around. 

5. Casually mention Jesus is technically an in vitro baby. 

4. Sing the Flinstones Christmas theme with him, emphasing the "gay old time" you'll have! 

3. Tell him you want to "pray openly" , and then come out of the closet. 

2. Rig "Secret Santa" so you have to buy for him, then load up on Obama 2012 buttons and "Queer as Folk" DVDs. 

1. Ask him if he remembers the names of The Three Wise Men. 

Perry Christmas!

@TheMichaelLake